The purpose of this site is for information and a record of Gerry McCann's Blog Archives. As most people will appreciate GM deleted all past blogs from the official website. Hopefully this Archive will be helpful to anyone who is interested in Justice for Madeleine Beth McCann. Many Thanks, Pamalam

Note: This site does not belong to the McCanns. It belongs to Pamalam. If you wish to contact the McCanns directly, please use the contact/email details    

Blogs and Diary Comparison

Day 01 03.05.2007    
 Thursday Madeleine Beth McCann disappeared from the family Holiday apartment in Praia da Luz. Kate McCann raised the alarm at 10pm. 
THURSDAY, MAY 3: Milk and biscuits for the kids. I left them with this and books and games and went to have a quick shower/wash my hair. M (Madeleine) tired' sitting on my lap' I read the story of Mog (favourite children's book).
Brush teeth. To the bedroom with the kids. M pulls away and puts her head on pillow. Kisses goodnight for M. Pulled the door to as far as possible without shutting it. Silence.

Dry hair. Put make-up on. Glass of wine. Restaurant.
(During dinner nearby with friends 'dubbed the Tapas 7
'the group took turns to check the children. At 10pm Kate discovers Madeleine gone. The McCann's and helpers frantically scour the area until 4am.)

Day 02 - 05/05/2007


Day 03 - 06/05/2007 Sunday

No Update



Statement read by Kate McCann
given today  Monday 7 May at 2pm   

Day 05 - 08/05/2007 Tuesday No Update
Day 07 - 10/05/2007


Day 08 - 11/05/2007
No Update

8am Saturday 12th of May 2007
Madeleine's 4th Birthday

SATURDAY, MAY 12: (Madeleine's birthday) Madeleine is four
years old. Day at resort with holiday group. Special Mass for Madeleine at 18.00 in Praia da Luz
Day 10 - 13/05/2007


Day 12 - 15/05/2007 Tuesday No Update
MONDAY, MAY 14: I slept well last night after a not very good end of the day, frustration with the FLO (Portuguese police family liaison officer) asking me where would my little M be.

I got up at 06.50. I dealt with some trifles and got myself ready for the statement to the press at 08.00.

I tried to put on a slightly more presentable and 'healthy' air. Gerry again gave a great performance.

Following on we answered about four questions. I almost responded to the first one asking how we were, but I didn't. I did answer a question on our possible return home. I replied that obviously I didn't even think about that. Anyway, it seemed to have gone well. After breakfast and our having left S and A, (twins Sean and Amelie, then aged two) we went to church to pray in silence. Very good, calming.

After getting back I decided to go running' for the first time since THE day (already 11 days ago). I knew that it was going to be physically difficult, but I also knew that I wasn't going to give up, because it was for Madeleine and also because the level of pain is far higher now.

No cameras or journalists, which was great. I went running towards the beach and then along it and again climbed that hill so steep 'without stopping! (I carried a photo of M in my hand to keep me going.) On the last hill past the tennis courts my legs completely weak, but I managed to keep myself walking. I managed to reach the apartment then time to stop' to think' I felt really quite calm.

Day 14 - 17/05/2007 FUND LAUNCH


'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned'

This includes Ł50,000 donated by Portsmouth football club.

Funds taken over the counters of NatWest & RBS, along with the donations made by cheque, have not yet hit the account.

Further updates will be provided on Monday 21st May 2007  


The family of Madeleine McCann are to-day launching the Madeleine’s Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned appeal. The funds will be used to help find Madeleine McCann, support her family and bring her abductors to justice. Any surplus funds will be used to help families and missing children in United Kingdom, Portugal and elsewhere in similar circumstances.

From this morning, Thursday May 17th:

·         members of the public will be able to make donations to 'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited' over-the-counter in any branch of NatWest and The Royal Bank of Scotland.

From now:

·         Postal Donations can be made with cheques payable to 'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned'. Cheques should be posted to the following address:

‘Madeleine’s Fund’
c/o The International Family Law Group
26 Southampton Street
Covent Garden

Internet donations can be made into the following account:

'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned'

PO BOX 113
Cavell House
2A Charing Cross Road

Sort Code 60 40 05.
Account Number 32130058

Internet banking donations from abroad

IBAN :  GB63 NWBK 6040 0532 1300 58 
IBAN :   GB63NWBK60400532130058
Sort Code : 60 – 40 – 05
Account number : 32130058
Iban bic : NWBKGB2L

All donations will be processed free of charge.

Funds will be paid to Madeleine's Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited: Company Registration Number - 6248215 
3.     The objects of the Foundation are:
3.1.1   To secure the safe return to her family of Madeleine McCann who was abducted in Praia da Luz, Portugal on Thursday 3rd May 2007;
3.1.2   To procure that Madeleine’s abduction is thoroughly investigated and that her abductors, as well as those who played or play any part in   assisting them, are identified and brought to justice; and
3.1.3   To provide support, including financial assistance, to Madeleine’s family.
3.2     If the above objects are fulfilled then the objects of the Foundation shall be to pursue such purposes in similar cases arising in the United   Kingdom, Portugal or  elsewhere.

Trade mark Filing date for Madeleine's Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned
Case details for Trade Mark 2456061 Intellectual Property Office
Mark text: Madeleine's Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned


Status: Registered
Classes: 09, 16, 36, 41

Relevant dates

Filing date: 18 May 2007
Next renewal date: 18 May 2017
Registration date: 22 February 2008

List of goods or services

Class 09: Downloadable internet publications
Class 16: Printed matter
Class 36: Charitable fundraising; charitable and non-charitable services relating to the provision of assistance to families and others affected by missing children.
Class 41: Non-downloadable internet publications

Website Update at 19:18PM on 19th of May 2007
97 Million hits!

Fund Update
Latest Update - ITV News
Madeleine parents believe she is safe

The parents of missing four-year-old Madeleine McCann said they had taken "tremendous strength" from the "warmth and spiritual outpouring" from all around the world.

Gerry and Kate McCann issued a brief statement from the Portuguese holiday resort of Praia da Luz 11 days after their little girl disappeared from their hotel room.

The pair said they were "fully supporting" the police investigation into their daughter's abduction and reaffirmed their belief that their daughter is safe.

Mr McCann said: "Until there is concrete evidence to the contrary, we believe Madeleine is safe and is being looked after".

Madeleine's mother also emphasised that the couple had no intention of returning to Britain from Portugal in the immediate future.

A British legal team has flown to Praia da Luz to help them and has launched a special "fighting fund" to help in the hunt for Madeleine.

A statement from the International Family Law Group, the firm instructed by the McCanns, said details of how people could make donations would be released within days.

A QC, Michael Nicholls, has also been instructed by the family as their determined battle to find Madeleine enters another week.

Madeleine's uncle John McCann, who lives in Glasgow but was in Praia da Luz last week, said the lawyers would play a liaison role and would not interfere with the criminal investigation.

A spokesman for the International Family Law Group said yesterday: "Gerry and Kate are very grateful for all the support and generous offers of help that they are receiving.

"Details of how contributions can be made to help get Madeleine back to the safety of her own family will be made available in the next couple of days."

The McCanns were among around ten British people who have been re-interviewed by police in recent days to clarify their statements.

This week some of the witnesses are expected to appear in court behind

closed doors to record their evidence before they go back to the UK. The McCanns themselves are not expected to be asked to take part.

The procedure, known as "memory for the future", means taped statements can be shown during a future trial so the witnesses do not have to return to appear in court.


A Day to day life for the McCann's

Our day starts around 6.30am with us all waking up around the same time. We have breakfast with Sean and Amelie and our close family/friends who are here with us. Then its clean nappies and clothes for Sean and Amelie followed by showers etc for the rest of us.  

Usually there’s some free time then for a few stories or games with the twins before heading out.


9.00-9.15 We take Sean and Amelie to Kids’ Club. They really enjoy it and run in.

 They know the staff well and the staff are all excellent. Both love the domestic corner and Amelie particularly likes to look after ‘babies’. We use the kids club a bit like nursery at home but we think Sean and Amelie still think they are on holiday!

9.30~12.15. We return to the apartments, usually for a series of meetings with our press officer, Mark Warner Reps, occasionally Consulate staff, lawyers and British Liaison officers. During this time we catch up with family and close friends, usually by telephone and discuss ideas how to keep Madeleine’s profile high especially throughout continental Europe.


12.30 Time to pick up Sean and Amelie from Kids’ club then head back to apartment for lunch, which has usually been prepared by one of our family/friends group who have been tremendously supportive.

13.30 –14.30 This is time to spend time playing with the twins either in the apartment or in the play area next to kids club.


14.30-15.00 Usually we take the twins back to Kids’ Club although Sean has had the odd afternoon in the apartment as it’s a bit cooler and he’s not much of a sun worshipper! They have been taking part in many different activities including painting, singing, stories, swimming, trips to the beach and they have lots of toys to play with.


15.00~17.00 We try to get some time together alone, going for a walk to talk things over or getting some exercise. This is often the time for quiet trips to the church for prayers.



17.00-17.30 Meet kids for high tea with other mums and dads. They love pasta and have been doing really well with their vegetables although a few chips have been squeezed in.


17.30-18.30. Games with kids at play area. Amelie loves trying to get in the baby pool!


18.30-19.30 Bath and story time with the twins.


20.00 We put the kids to bed.


20.30-23.00 We try to sit down for a family meal, again usually cooked by one of the small family group out here with us. Chat about the day’s events and plan the next day


23.30 bed and prayer for Madeleine that she will be returned to us safely



In addition to above we try to attend various church services

during the week, and make multiple phone calls to family and

friends. We try to watch the main news

early morning and late evening but have had almost no time

to read

the newspapers or even look at the pictures!

Kate is a keen runner and in the last few days has tried to include a run in the

daily routine. Yesterday (Sat) at 7am we ran to the monument at the top of the steep cliff overlooking Praia de

Luz. We reached it in 19 minutes.

Day 18 - 21/05/2007


Day 19 22/05/2007
No Update
Day 20 - 23/05/2007  


1st Version
23 May 2007

Today Kate and I went to the Shrine at Fatima to pray for Madeleine´s safe return. It was another early start leaving at 6.30am. MarkWarner, who have looked after us so well, laid on a car and driver. We managed to continue the campaign with telephone conversations and e-mails. The actual visit was very encouraging with the rector and thousands of pilgrims praying for Madeleine as well Kate and I. We lit candles for Madeleine and also 3 for Madeleine’s grandparents. The trip received a lot of publicity

which should help maintain the profile of her abduction.We are planning a relatively quiet day tomoorow

although the British Ambaasador is coming to visit and we need to start finalising our plans for interviews in areas of Europe where the coverage of Madeleine’s disappaerance has been limited.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 23: Gordon Brown (then Chancellor and PM in waiting) called and spoke with Gerry -very kind and giving encouragement.
Feeling a bit emotional afterwards.
2nd version
24 May 2007
Today Kate and I went to the Shrine at Fatima to pray for Madeleine´s safe return. It was another early start leaving at 6.30am. Mark Warner, who have looked after us so well,  laid on a car and driver.  We managed to continue the campaign with telephone conversations and e-mails. The actual visit was veryencouraging with the rector and thousands of pilgrims praying for Madeleine as well Kate and I. We lit candles for Madeleine and also 3 for Madeleine’s grandparents.

The trip received a lot of publicity which should help maintain the profile of her abduction. We are planning a relatively quiet day tomoorow although the British Ambaasador is coming to visit and we need to start finalising our plans for interviews in areas of Europe where the coverage of Madeleine’s disappaerance has been limited.

Day 22:  25/05/2007-            Friday               No Update
Yesterday was relatively quiet although we did meet the British ambassador and the senior British Police Officer who has been working here in Portugal on the case. This was a productive meeting. There was a flurry of activity amongst the media here stating the family was openly critical of the Portuguese policed which was not true. We did our best to dampen this down but a couple of papers carried stories with our ‘frustration’ with the investigation rather than what we said it was frustrating that 3 weeks down the line we still have not got Madeleine back. This would be the case which ever country we were in. Some of you may have noticed that Sean and Amelie did manage to squeeze in a hair cut!

Today was extremely busy and tiring. We met with our press officer Clarence Mitchell, to discuss strategy for the fortcoming interviews. Kate attended a luncheon in aid of International Missing Child day and John, my brother, attended a similar event in London. After this John and Brian Kennedy, Kate’s uncle, who are both directors of Madeleine’s fund appointed an interim fund manager. We are now actively looking for a campaign manager who will be needed once our government press officer disappears.
The interviews were our first for TV and we were happy how they went. We did 10 min interviews for Sky, BBC, ITV, Portuguese TV/radio and one for the press association. A shorter interview with GM TV will be shown on Monday morning along with stuff from our fabulous web team. The interviewers were very kind but did not shirk from asking us some extremely difficult questions. We answered them all and although painful will allow us to move on in our search for Madeleine. Importantly, shortly after our interviews finished the Portuguese Police held a press conference and gave details of man they would like to interview who was seen carrying a child on the night of Madeleine’s disappearance. We have not had a transcript of what was said but this is an encouraging development and hopefully will result in further calls to the police with information from people who were in Praia da Luz around the time of Madeleine’s abduction. We remain very optimistic that the criminal investigation will lead to Madeleine’s safe return but we need everyone to be alert and vigilant to any suspicious activity.

Tomorrow will be a family day. We are doing a photo-shoot with the twins for the Sunday newspapers in the morning but will involve stuff that we want to do with them anyway. We also need to recharge our batteries after what has been a very busy week.
DAY 23 26/05/2007
Domain tools
SATURDAY, MAY 26: We went to an amusement park with the kids. Some phone calls, emails etc. Not a very good day for either the two of us' some dark thoughts/ frustrations/ desperation creeping in. Some tears.
(Then in a moving little message to Madeleine) I love you so much XXX
Strange day after all the activity during the week. Kate and I started off with an early morning run to the the top of the nearby cliffs. Sean and Amelie were back in kids club and went swimming again. The rest of us attended mass which was very emotional as a priest from RAF Lossiemouth was visiting and further prayers were said for Madeleine. Father Zee-Manuel has also rigged up a powerpoint display projecting a large photograph of Madeleine on to the wall, which he is very proud of and reminds us of the beautiful little girl we are missing so terribly.

There have been some requests for more information ‘about Madeleine’ and this section will be updated very soon. We will also be releasing a very short video of Madeleine taken at the Airport on the day we left for Portugal, Saturday 28 April. Sean and Amelie went to the beach this afternoon with mummy, auntie Trisha and Anne but daddy stayed in the apartment catching up on campaign e-mails, making calls and liaising with Clarence our press officer. The resort is much busier again as it is half-term and there are definitely less journalists here. Many of them have been here since the beginning and are making this journey with us.

The couple of Sunday articles we read did not cover much of what we talked about and seemed to get some of the other stuff wrong! We stated that Sean and Amelie are sleeping in our room (in separate cots) because of other family staying with us and that we were trying to treat them as normal and not be overprotective. This came out that we were so protective we have to have them sleeping in our bed! These inaccuracies are not important in our search for Madeleine and the next phase is being planned currently.

It looks like our planned trips to other European cities will start off in Rome after we learned today that the Pope has been following Madeleine’s abduction closely. There is a reasonable chance we may get a chance to meet the Pontiff and that he will pray for Madeleine. Such a visit would generate huge publicity regarding the family campaign to find Madeleine and will also give Kate and I a great spiritual lift. It will also raise the awareness of missing and abused children generally. We continue to pray that someone will provide the key information that leads us to Madeleine.
SUNDAY, MAY 27: Clarence (Clarence Mitchell, Foreign Office family liaison at the time) spoke to us about a possible trip to the Vatican. It seems that it really is going to happen' main story on the news!

Spoke to Dad. I went for a walk to the beach with Sean and Amelie. Frozen. Beach' slippery, wet feet.

We all had dinner when we got back to the apartment.

We have to keep looking. We have to find you beloved xxxxx.

(Kate signed off the day's entry by drawing a heart with 'I LOVE MADELEINE' inside.)

Confirmation arrived this evening that we are to attend the Vatican and a service with The Pope. It is likely we will be seated in the front row and may have an opportunity to speak with the Holy Father and ask for prayers for Madeleine. This is a hugely important visit both personally, for Kate and I, but also for the wider campaign to publicise Madeleine’s disappearance. The trip has been facilitated through Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor and we will be receiving assistance from the British Embassy whilst in Rome. On this occasion because of the short notice and the relatively early time of the service we have accepted the kind offer of the use of Sir Philip Green’s personal jet, which will help get us home quickly after our Papal visit to see the twins before their bedtime. We will be accompanied by a small group of media who are still with us in Praia da Luz and, as usual all the material will be available to all the British press and broadcasters equally. For all trips we are assessing whether commercial flights can get us to our destination and back to Portugal quickly. This will NOT be a Tour- it is a series of very brief visits with the specific aim of raising awareness and we aim to get back here as quickly as possible.

We have decided that for the majority of trips it will not be practicable, or fair, to take Sean and Amelie with us. They have an established routine which we do not want to disrupt and will be looked after by very close family. Tonight for the first time they have gone to sleep in their own single beds, rather than cots, now that another two of our family have gone home. We were planning to turn their cots at home into beds after our 1 week holiday but obviously this has been delayed with Madeleine’s abduction. We have been in Praia da Luz for over 4 weeks and Sean and Amelie’s development from toddlers to little boy and girl continues. Madeleine will really notice the difference when she sees them!

Some of you may have seen on the news the huge inflatable billboard which has travelled all the way from the West of Scotland to Portugal which will be used near busy roads/motorways to keep Madeleine’s disappearance high profile. We had a brief chat with Chris and Les, who drove almost non-stop from Glasgow to get here. The extraordinary length ordinary people are going to help us is truly overwhelming. We thank everyone for their efforts, no matter how small, and we know this will make a difference in our search for Madeleine.

Pope was so gentle and so sincere

DEVOUT Catholic Kate's nerves were on edge as she and Gerry prepared to meet the Pope at the Vatican on May 30.

On May 28 she wrote: 'I felt somewhat concerned. This is going to be a little too much, I only want Madeleine back and to return to our normal life.'

Two days later her diary recalls: 'Pope Benedict XVI arrived in his 'pope mobile' waving to everyone. It immediately became clear that he recognised us. He took hold of our hands and he was so gentle, so sincere.

'I thanked him for having allowed us to be there with him. He said he would pray for us and that he would continue to pray for Madeleine and for her safe return. I gave him the photo of Madeleine' he blessed it (with the thumb)' something that we would be able to keep for ever. A shy man but very friendly.

'Very emotional, very positive, very important' charming.

'Please, God, bring back to us little Madeleine. We love her so much and we miss her so much. Please Lord, help us to be united once again shortly as a family.

'Later on, Clarence (Foreign Office family liaison) told me that, before that (meeting the Pope), a butterfly had flown above and had landed on the bow on my hair.

'Following on, it left, but it came back and landed on my lapel. An omen, we hope.'

We have been preoccupied with preparation for our audience with the Pope tomoorow morning. This morning was spent acquiring some appropriate dress for the meeting since we had only holiday clothes with us in Portugal. Clarence has been inundated with calls regarding the visit to Rome and done most of the organisation behind the scenes.

It has been very difficult to leave Sean and Amelie but it is only for one nght and we will be back to see them before bedtime tomorrow. Trish and Sandy (Madeleine’s Godparents) who have been with us in Portugal since Day 2 are looking after them and we were surprised to hear they were tucked up in bed by 7.30pm- they must like their new beds!

The flight to Rome passed extremely quickly and some footage was taken for TV. We did a couple of short interviews for the British and Portuguesae press about our feelings regarding the trip. Under normal circumstances we would be extremely excited about meeting the Pope, but as we are here as a result of Madeleine’s abduction the circumstances are very different. We expect to receive a great spiritual lift, especially if we get to speak to the Pontiff personally. After the audience we will be holding a short press conference in the British Embassy to the Vatican to talk about our campaign to publicise Madeleine’s disappearance and of course, our audience with the Pope.

Frncis Campbell, the British ambassador to the Holy See, and his staff picked us at the airport and brought us directly to the Embassy residences near the city centre. We have been made to feel completely at ease and almost as if we are part of a small family here, which has helped ease our tangible nerves, not unsurprising given the importance of tomorrow’s meeting. We are now retiring and will be saying our usual prayers for Madeleine’s safe return
DAY 26 - 29/05/2007
Day 27 - 30/05/2007  


Today has gone as well as we could possibly imagine.
We woke around 7.15am and got ourselves ready. There was a lovely continental breakfast prepared but both Kate and I ate very little due to nerves. We left the Embassy just after 9.00am and stopped en route to the Vatican, at Piazza Pia for a photo opportunity with St Peters in the distance. I made a very short statement regarding our forthcoming visit and expressed my gratitude to Francis Campbell, the British Ambassador to the Vatican, and his staff for making us feel as if we were part of their family.

We arrived in plenty of time for the Papal audience and were delighted to find we were seated in the ‘Prima Fila’- the first row. Clarence, Francis and Monsingneur Charlie Burns, a colourful Glaswegian who teaches at the seminary and looks after the Ambassador’s spiritual well being were seated immediately behind us. It was extremely sunny and I have to admit that Kate and I were struggling somewhat with the heat in our dark suits but Francis rescued us with an umbrella and some water and following that some heavy cloud rolled in, cooling us down.

The atmosphere in St Peter’s square was almost carnival like with up to 35,000 people there to see the Pope. He did not disappoint, driving slowly around the crowd in his open jeep, waving cheerfully. We were sombre in contrast given that we were there to ask Benedict to pray for Madeleine, although I am sure others were also there to get blessings for their loved ones. After this the Pontiff took his seat in front of approximately 30 cardinals, bishops and priests. One of the priests, Father Daniel Gallagher from the US, came up to us before the service and said some very kind words; that he was praying and everyone was praying for Madeleine daily.

The service started with a series of addresses from priests representing the various French, German, Italian, English, Spanish and Polish speaking congregations present. Each parish represented was mentioned and various bands, mainly German, played short pieces and a few choirs sang a verse and the large Polish contingent priests seated behind us wearing large yellow scarves tied like ribbons around theirs necks sang 3 or 4! At the end of this preamble the priest stated that the Pope was happy to tell us he was praying for the congregation, our families, our children and those who were suffering. These words seemed so poignant in the light of Madeleine’s abduction and naturally both Kate and I were, naturally, very emotional. The Pope’s actual address seemed to pass in a blur and I am looking forward to reading the actual transcript as I can remember very little of the actual words.

Following the completion of the Papal address in the different languages, Benedict individually greeted the other clergy on the dias. During this period Father Gallagher presented us with a small gift to remind us that he would pray daily for Madeleine and a cardinal also expressed similar sentiments. The Pope took approximately 20 minutes to meet other people in the Prima Fila before reaching us. It felt as if time stood still for a moment when the Pope looked into our faces and there was almost instant recognition and a change in his expression. He said he would pray for us, our family and Madeleine. Kate passed him a photograph of Madeleine and he blessed this and would pray for her safe returning. The meeting was more personal than we could have imagined given the number of people there and will help us sustain our hope and determination to find Madeleine.

The press conference followed shortly afterwards and was very well attended. We will give more details tomorrow as we are very tired following our visit and hope to get an early night before planning our next trip.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 30: (After trip to see Pope detailed above) The kids went to bed again around 9pm!!! Low point of tonight' becoming desperate/without hope because of the lack of information. They are acting like they have no leads at all. Very worried.

Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since Madeleine was taken. Four weeks since we saw our special little girl. We are not certain that we will ever see her again, but know that we have to keep up our hope and strength' for the others, at least. Exhausted.

I love you so much, Madeleine. You must come back! X

Press conference in Rome went very well giving us an excellent forum to ask for help in the search for Madeleine. We told people about the website, how to download posters and ask people to print them and take on holiday wherever they are.

We arrived in Madrid late last night and have a series of meetings arranged with government and non government agencies concerned with child welfare. We will also be hosting a press conference again to raise general awareness of Madeleine´s disappearance and ask for the public´s help in our search for Madeleine. We may also do a few very short interviews for US news stations which are widely broadcast in Europe, N.Africa and Asia, particularly in English speaking hotels and other outlets. Will update after meetings.
With the help of the British Embassy we had a very busy day. First of all we had a short briefing from the ambassador and her staff. We then had a series of meetings with: multiple non-governmental agencies involved in child welfare, did a TV programme akin to Crimewatch focussing on Madeleine’s disappearance, a press conference which was well attended, a couple of short US news channel interviews with European coverage and finally met with the Spanish Minister for the Interior (Home Secretary equivalent). We left Madrid feeling as if the Spanish were treating Madeleine’s disappearance like one of their own.
Meanwhile in Portugal Phil arrived with thousands of posters in different languages. Most of these have been delivered to the Irish centre at Fatima and more at Lisbon airport. Planning a family day tomorrow. Will weigh up next phase of the search over the weekend.
FRIDAY, JUNE 1: Quite fed up...I can't stop thinking about Madeleine, about her fear of pain. How can I go on knowing that her life could have ended like this'

This week I have been quite overtaken by black thoughts. Please, God, bring her back.

Bedtime is becoming more and more of a challenge.

Relatively quiet day. Did manage to repsond to some e-mails regarding campaign issues with some excellent ideas coming through. We did visit a local beach with Sean, Amelie and the rest of the family who are here and managed to get a bite to eat. Having a huge number of media reuests in but want these to be very focussed in areas that will have clear benefits in the search for Madeleine. We did do a German TV and newspaper interview which wiil be released tomorrow to incraese awareness ahead of our planned visit to Berlin later this week. Most of the Sunday newspapers will carry some of the interview as a British reporter sat in and asked a few more quetions related to the campaign strategy.
SATURDAY, JUNE 2: I can't remember today (which is now yesterday!). The morning was spent doing paperwork. I wrote a letter to JK Rowling, asking for her help in keeping M in the public eye. She has a new Harry Potter book which will come out in July. I asked if it would be possible to do something like a bookmark with M on.

An enjoyable afternoon' I never felt so relaxed. I felt it was wrong. S and A had fun and that was important. I also worried about what people might think, like 'How can they manage to...''

It seems that Sean is liking the beach more these days. We had tea in a nearby restaurant' good, despite still thinking that I had to do normal things without feeling guilty. We left around 7.30pm and the kids were completely exhausted.

Fed up again 'poor M. Once again it took a long time before S and A were sorted. Finally went to church for 10 minutes.

Private worship (despairing!).

Cried again in bed' I can't avoid it. I need her close to me. Thinking about her fear of pain breaks my heart. Thinking about paedophiles makes me want to tear at my own skin. Of course these people, like psychopaths, aren't 'normal' human beings. I was never in favour of the death penalty, but these people should be kept in a secure place. I wouldn't even complain if it was in nice surroundings, but, certainly in the case of paedophiles always distanced from any type of contact with children.

Whose human rights are more important' Those of a paedophile or of a vulnerable, defenceless child'

Was encouraged to learn of the large volume of information which has come through the Leicester incident room following the appeal. Hopefully the Portuguese police will have had a good reponse also and we hope to meet with them in the next couple of days for an update. Chris and Les, who travelled over with the huge inflatable banner which has been positioned near the Spanish border, are heading home today. They were very happy that the director of the Algarve tourist board allowed them to put it up in private property owned by them, with thousands of cars passing every hour and seeing Madeleine’s image and details of her disappearance and reward. Sunday papers have reported our interviews virtually verbatim but vey disappointed that the blog was lifted almost in entirety by one newspaper yesterday after expressly forbidding such an approach! The blog is to keep people visiting the website up to date with our progress in the campaign to find Madeleine.
Busier day today with travel arrangements for Berlin and Amsterdam finalised. Leaving tomorrow night and coming back Thurs afternoon. It will be a very busy schedule similar to Madrid. On Thurs night there is a music festival in aid of Madeleine in nearby Lagos which we will be attending. Tonigh, we were interviewed for Crimeatch which will be shown on BBC1 tomorrow night. This was a very good opportunity to recap on all the information which is in the public domain and re-emphasise the appeal, especially since the description of a suspect seen carrying a child was released by the Portuguese police after the initial British appeal. As well as some reports from Crimewatch, you may see a picture of me in a green and yellow find Madeleine t-shirt in tomorrow’s paper. The t-shirts were brought over by Phil and later on I thought better about wearing it around the resort she was taken from. I am sure all the people who have chosen to continue their holliday here, rather than take an alternative location, know about Madeleine’s disappearance and don’t need a further reminder.
Met with the Portuguese Police today. It is good to talk face to face especially with so much speculation in the media. Kates parents arrived today to see the kids and us. We managed to spend a couple of hours with them before heading off for Berlin. I had completely forgotten that it is my birthday today, it is anything but a happy one. However Sean and Amelie made me a birthday card on behalf of them and Madeleine and Trisha made a fruit flan. We sang happy birthday and blew the candles out together which Sean and Amelie really enjoyed. They were really happy to see Grandma and Grandad, whom they are used to seeing every few weeks in England. Kates parents have been a huge help to us, especially since the twins were born, often driving down to Leicestershire for the weekend to help with the kids. This has been really important when I have been on-call at weekends and Kate would have been left looking after the three of them on her own. Trisha would often fly down to help when she had a few days off or when her and Sandy were en route to Cambridge. It makes us feel better knowing that we are leaving Sean and Amelie with very close loved ones whilst we are away on this short trip to appeal for further information and raise awareness of Madeleine’s disappearance. Arrived in Berlin. Another busy programme tomorrow with TV, press, and politicians to see and then straight on to Amsterdam for more of the same. It all helps in the search for Madeleine.
TUESDAY, JUNE 5: Woke up relatively late again, around 7.30am, with a good morning wake-up call from S and A. Adorable!! I just wish it had been all three of them that came into the room. After a shower and breakfast, I took S and A to the Kids' Club. I asked if they could make birthday cards for their Grandma and Gerry' today is his birthday but I had forgotten which is not surprising!
Day 34 -06/06/2007  


Today seemed to go very well with huge interest in our search for Madeleine. There has also been a little bit of criticism in the German press about the amount of media coverage but this did not seem to diminish the level of interest. The German interviewers are a little more direct with their questions but I was still surprised by the question as to whether Kate and I may be involved in Madeleine’s abduction! Hopefully our answers removed any doubt on that score and that our sole focus in all of the family campaigning is to get Madeleine back. After the media we met with a couple of politicians in private. Firstly, we saw the deputy justice minister for Germany who gave us reassurances regarding the investigation. Following this we met the Mayor of Berlin who is a very powerful and charismatic politician. He asked us what he could do for us and following this meeting asked German tourists who were in the Algarve around the time of Madeleine’s abduction to come forward. He is very popular and such public backing should help our appeal. We had to delay our onward flight to Amsterdam because of some information received by the police, which we needed to be consulted on. We diverted to the embassy in Berlin but it turned out to be nothing of interest. We unfortunately had to miss 2 TV programmes as we arrived in Amsterdam 3 hours late, very tired and emotionally drained. We did manage to catch up with a few friends briefly who we know from the year we lived in Amsterdam. They have been actively campaigning here on our behalf with poster distribution, contacting media and liasing with companies to get advertising space for large posters of Madeleine.
Day 35
- 06th June 2007

The press conference, meetings and appeal on TV today in Amsterdam all seemed to go well. I doubt there are many people left in Europe who do not know of Madeleine’s disappearance and hopefully everyone who has information will have come forward to the police. Today was particularly difficult for Kate and I because of the year we spent in Amsterdam with Madeleine. We have many friend s still there and could never have imagined coming back without her in such dreadful circumstances. Afterwards we caught with a friend of mine who was attending a medical conference in Amsterdam and a friend who helps run a playgroup that we attended We arrived back in Portugal and managed to spend some time with Sean and Amelie. We then drove to the concert in Lagos in aid of Madeleine, which is the first large public event in Portugal that I know of supporting the campaign. It was interesting mix of jazz, blues, orchestra and rap! We were presented with a painting with green and yellow hands from a class of schoolkids- hands of hope. There was a short speech and Kate thanked tke local
community for their support. The amount of media coverage Madeleine’s disappearance has received is phenomenal. After Morocco we will have to take stock and decide on our best strategy. I am not convinced going to other European countries and holding meetings similar to Berlin and Amsterdam will help.
THURSDAY, JUNE 7: The Press conference went well. People are always asking how we are managing to cope, how we can manage to run a campaign, as if we are strange because we are able to appear calm and controlled and aren't going under all the time. They know so little. Nobody should judge or criticise because, unless they have already been in this situation, they have NO IDEA how they would be and certainly NO IDEA how painful it is. NO IDEA AT ALL. I love you so much Madeleine xxxx

I can't bear this. I can't bear being without Madeleine. It's like torture' a slow, painful death. I hope her suffering, if she is suffering, is much less. Please God

Quieter day today. This was a good chance to catch up with campaign e-mails and phone calls after the trips to Berlin and Amsterdam. At lunchtime we went to the release of 1000 yellow balloons at the beach carrying cards with Madeleine’s picture on it and information in 5 different languages including arabic. There were similar launches in Manchester and Madrid. The event was organsied by the Sun who, like almost all of the media, have been incredibly supportive. I told Nick, the Sun journalist, that we are happy to support all strategies which increase the chances of finding Madeleine. Later in the afternoon we went down to the beach and had dinner in one of the restaurants which Sean and Amelie really enjoyed. Sean, in particular has acquired a taste for sea-bass! Kate and I did a short interview for BBC East Midlands to thank everyone for their support and it is likely that this will be shown around most of the regions, certainly Northwest and BBC Scotland. Kate and most of the family headed down to the church for the regular Friday night vigil but I was just too shattered. Tommorrow will largely be a family day although I am not sure what we will be doing yet.
Day 37 - 11/06/2007

Kate and I had a slightly busier day on the media front than expected. We did a short press interview for the Irish Sunday papers, mainly to thank the Irish for their fantastic level of support. We followed that with one for the British Sundays which is likely to be the last one we do for a while. We talked about our pain of not having having Madeleine for such a long time and for our need to grieve, which occurs mainly in private. We also talked about how after Morocco we will have to spend some time reflecting both emotionally, and also how best the campaign can be taken forward. What we want to ensure is that the campaign has a psoitive effect on finding Madeleine.

After this we headed down to Sagres which is the very most southwestern tip of Portugal. There is a very nice beach and we had lunch with the family.

After returning from the beach we did the Irish version of Crimewatch-‘Crimecall’. There are a lot of Irish tourists in and around Praia da Luz and although the awareness of Madeleine’s disappearance in Ireland is extremely high, we want to ensure that everyone is aware of the appeal and we want the Irish public to come forward with photographs of people who they do not know who were in and around Praia da Luz in the 2 weeks leading up to the 3rd May. The address to upload photographs is: to . We have also asked for people to contact their local police if they have seen a man matching the description of the suspect carrying a child seen around the time of Madeleine’s abduction. He is 30-40 years, 1.70-1.80m (5’7”-11”), caucasian and was wearing a dark jacket, beige or mustard coloured trousers with dark shoes. No major news on the investigation front- we still believe it is just a single phone call away.
We attended mass this morning and the Bishop had sent a very nice message that he and everyone else was praying for Madeleine. He also said that our attitude in this time of adversity was an example for others. Contrary to some of the headlines in the Sunday papers the campaign to find Madeleine will not ease up. Kate’s and my role will be different after Morocco compared to the last 3 weeks. As I said earlier we will reflect on the investigation, what the campaign has achieved and where we will be best directed. We will be less evident in the media, at least for a few days, unless there is a breakthrough in the investigation. First of all we have Morocco. We drove up to Lisbon late this afternoon to catch a flight to Casablanca where embassy officials will meet us. We were surprised to learn that a 20 seat propeller plane was sent instead of the larger aircraft. Luckily Kate, Clarence and I got squeezed on although we were certainly rather apprehensive about flying on such an aircraft- it reminded us of some of the internal flights we took in New Zealand in the mid 90’s. The meeting in Rabat will follow a similar itinerary as to the European visits. We will meet with the ambassador and his staff, two children’s charities, the interior minister and possibly the chief of police. We will do two interviews for the main TV stations and the press conference will be last. I am sure we will be asked about the Marrakech siting which has been extensively reported in the press. I should be able to get some more details of this from ITV, who interviewed the witness, and hopefully the justice minister to find out what enquiries were made by the local police
Day 38 -12/06/2007
We spent the day in Rabat meeting 3 child welfare groups, the minister for interior and the chief of police. We had little knowledge of Morocco before coming here and have learned what a family orientated and child loving society it is. Everyone has been incredibly sympathetic and said they will do everything to help us find Madeleine. As well as the meetings there was a very touching experience outside the National Observatory for Chidren's Rights. As we pulled up in the car there were about 150 children waving posters of Madeleine with the words above and below a picture of her:

'All Moroccan Children Are With You Madeleine- Madeleine: Back Home'. They were singing and cheering Madeleine's name and shouting 'coeur', Heart. This whole experience was uplifting and enlightening at the same time in that we had no concept that so many children in Morocco would know of Madeleine and also be internet- friendly. It is just as likely that a child will spot Madeleine and alert a responsible adult. The whole world really has changed and is a lot smaller in this computer age. If Madeleine is in Morocco we have no doubt that she will be found.

We did a couple of interviews for ITV and Sky and followed up our Newspaper interviews focussing on a change in the phase of the campaign. We confirmed that there will be a period of reflection before we decide on what is the best role for Kate and I. The campaign and the search for Madeleine will continue and with everyone's help we will find her. So please stay with us.
Day 39 -12/06/2007

We finished off our trip to Morocco with a private visit to the minister for religious affairs this morning. He is an academic, senior cleric and adviser to the King of Morocco. We explained to him that although we are Roman Catholic we have received messages of support and prayers from all religious groups. Leicester, where we live, is extremely diverse culturally with a large proportion of Muslims and there were prayers for Madeline throughout Leicester on Sunday. We asked the minister if prayers could be said for Madeleine and other missing children in Morocco. He told us that people were praying for her and again emphasised that if Madeleine is in Morocco they would find her. En route to the airport a lorry had overturned blocking the exit from the motorway. The Moroccan people dealt with this in a very calm and relaxed manner, which we have found is a very engaging aspect of their character. Arriving back in Praia da Luz it was great to see Sean and Amelie. I think they were happy to see us although have been very well looked after as usual. We have no more trips planned for the immediate future and will spend the next few days taking stock. Tonight we have also gone to the church for prayers, as it is now 40 days and nights since Madeleine was abducted. No child or parent should have to endure his experience and we prayed that she would be found safe and well.
Day 41 - 13/06/2007  


Met with Portuguese and British police today to get an update on the investigation. We were reaasured that information continues to come in, and we continue to pray for a breakthrough.

We were extremely disappointed in the publication of the anonymous letter in The Telegraaf (Netherlands) claiming to know where Madeleine is buried. Although all information will be taken seriously, we were very upset that the credibility of this letter had not been examined and, more importantly, published before the Portuguese police had an opportunity to investigate the claim, and search the area if appropriate without massive media attention. We feel strongly that this was an irresponsible piece of journalism and even if it were true is insensitive and cruel.

One can imagine how upsetting it is for Kate and I to hear of such claims
through the media and if every piece of information was published like this there would be nothing else in the newspapers.
Six weeks since Madeleine disappeared. We believe Madeleine is alive and I am glad to say that following yesterday's letter in the Telegraaf (Netherlands) there has been no evidence that Madeliene is in the area indicated although there will be further searches tomorrow.
Kate and I picked up a friend from Faro airport who has been
instrumental in helping with the campaign. He has been fantastic, producing the DVD of Madeleine to ‘Don’t you forget about me’

which has been shown at many sporting events and concerts as well as producing the look for maddie logo and various posters.

We spent most of the day updating each other and discussing future campaign ideas. We are getting closer to appointing a campaign manager who will handle media liaison and coordinating events to keep Madeleine’s disappearance highly visible

The good news today is that the search in response to the letter in the Telegraaf did not find evidence of Madeleine. We still belive that

Madeleine is alive. We have made some real progress deciding on campaign strategy. There is a huge amount of goodwill from people who want to help us find Madeleine and we have some concrete offers of support and are trying to finalise details before releasing them.Tomorrow will be a family day.

Kate and I dropped Jon at the airport this morning and picked up some more friends/family who have come out to see us, but particularly the twins. They were certainly happy to see our visitors! After lunch we headed off to the local zoo. Relatively quiet on the campaign front today as it is a family day. Tomorrow we will announce one or two planned events to keep Madeleines disappearnace high profile

Kate and I managed an early morning run before church.  

The first event of our longer term campaign will be on Friday 22nd June- this will mark the 50th day Madeleine will be missing. We will be launching green and yellow balloons from at least 50 centres worldwide to mark the fact that we are still searching as are other parents of missing children. Countries that are partcipating so far are Argentina, El Salvador, USA, Canada, Ireland, UK,

The Netherlands, Germany, Portugal (Kate and I in Praia da Luz), Spain, South Africa, Kenya, United Arab Emirates, Singapore, Australia and New Zealand. . Any other countries that wish to partcipate can download information from the website.

SUNDAY, JUNE 17: Cherie Blair (then the Premier's wife) phoned to find out how we were.

We talked about everything in general, including about them leaving Number 10. She agreed as well to make a 20-second video clip for our broadcast on YouTube about Madeleine and children who have disappeared.

I also had the chance to speak to Tony (then Prime Minister) who told me that we weren't to hesitate to ask him if there was something he could do to help.

On Sky News tonight they suddenly said the Portuguese police had stated that the crime scene had been contaminated' because of us' and that fundamental evidence had been lost. How dare they insinuate that our daughter's life could be put in danger because of us. Very angry. Very upset.

I want to speak to someone now, but it's too late.

I changed my mind and I sent a text message to Ricardo (Portuguese police family liaison officer). I don't know if was a sensible idea but I feel really annoyed.

My darling little Madeleine, you know that we wouldn't do anything to put you in danger.

I love you very much and I am in agony right now.

I only have to hope that God helps us all now and that he brings you back to us, safe and sound, very soon.

I need you to come back Madeleine. You are the best thing in my life that has ever happened to me. XXXXX

I ended up feeling very upset. Everything overflowed. Terrified that we might not get Madeleine back. I simply cannot face that. Tears, despair, rage, helplessness. I spoke to Gerry, recited prayers. Please God, bring her back XX

I fell asleep after 1am.

Kate and I got the respone we wanted after speaking to the Portuguese ploice today. We are assured that no criticism of our actions on the night Madeline disappeared was intended.
There has been a good response to our planned balloon release for Madeleine and other missing children on Friday and we are confident that over 50 countries
will be represented.
The twins have really enjoyed seeing family who have been visiting us for the last 3 days- it has passed very quickly. Hopefully the next time we see them it will be with Madeleine
MONDAY, JUNE 18: I spent a few lovely hours with Sean and Amelie building a sandcastle with a moat, getting big hugs from Sean, ice creams.
Shower, lovely meal and a little playtime with the kids.

(But as night closes in Kate's anguish returns.)

I cant stand living like this. It's so painful and distressing. Dear Lord, PLEASE answer our prayers. PLEASE send Madeleine back to us. PLEASE.

I love you so, so much Madeleine, more than anything XXXXX.


Flew in to London to for a series of meetings. Helped a passenger on the flight who collapsed. He was ill enough to require a full assessment on arrival and went off to hospital in an ambulance.

Unfortunately shortly after arriving in London I had my wallet stolen which meant I was running late. I did manage to get to all my meetings which ran late into the evening. We had very good discussions regarding sustaining the search for Madeleine long term. The role for Kate and I in the campaign will not be nearly be so

public. We have to balance any campaigning in the search for Madeleine with protecting Sean and Amelie and making sure their privacy is protected.
We are exploring the use of new media and using local advertising, particularly in Europe.

 There will of course be event driven media

exposure such as the balloon launch on Friday 22nd. There are several other very good ideas being developed and a few large companies are willing to help us.

TUESDAY, JUNE 19: Last night I didn't manage to get to sleep until around 1am because I was so upset again. It's so painful to be without Madeleine and I can't stand to think that it could be like this forever. This simply cannot happen.

Good night, good night Madeleine, I'm longing to read you a bedtime story again. I love you my little darling X.

I'm longing to read you a bedtime story again. I love you my little darling X.

Day 48 - 20/06/2007  


Another busy day of meetings this time in Leicester. No mishaps thankfully.The main meeting was that of Maddeleines fund where we discussed implementing a strategy to maintain our campaign to find Madeleine. It was agreed in principle to appoint a family spokesperson who will act, not just for Kate and I, but also on behalf of the extended family who have been liasing with the media. This appointment will take a lot of strain off family members who have been putting in such massive efforts to help find Madeleine.

We are delighted with the response to the 50th day balloon launch

which will truly be a global event. There will be a few variations to the release of balloons however. In Ventura, Southern California, 50 white doves will be released and in

Afghanistan kite racing, an activity banned under the Taliban, will be the order of the day.  Arrived back in Praia da Luz this evening and it was great to see Kate and the Kids, even though I was only away for a day and a half.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20: There is still no sign of Madeleine. I didn't feel like it so I decided not to go running.
Went to pick up Gerry from the airport. It was so good to see him. Just before we reached the apartment we saw a man lying in the middle of the street, so we stopped the car and got out. It was no surprise to see that he was drunk (we've all been there!) but he recognised Gerry and me immediately. Gerry walked him round to his apartment.
Met with the Portuguese police today for an update. Their committemnt to find Madeleine matches ours and we all hope for that vital breakthrough every day.

We have literally received thousands of letters, cards and messages of support here in Portugal which have helped give us strength during this terrible time. Yesterday we received a particularly touching gift which is entitled Madeleines Book of Hope made up with comments from children of all ages from 3 different schools including a pre-school. The messages in different coloured pages with green and yellow ribbons had both the power to us cry and laugh!

The response to the balloon launch to mark 50 days that Madeleine has been missing has been incredible. There are close to 300 centres, and countries all over the world, participating. There has been a lot of local media interest but remember to take digital photographs and videos if possible which will be able to be uploaded to the website so we can display them. The message of Madeleines disappearance will reach many more people tomorrow.

A pleasing aspect of the launch will be the highlighting of other missing or abducted children, many of whom will have recieved little public attention. I know that 7 year old Yeremi Vargas will be

remembered in Madrid and his family will be releasing balloons from Gran Canaria where he disappeared in March of this year.

Our campaign to find Madeleine will be associated with other child welfare issues in the future. We are very keen to see more debate

on issues that we and other families in similar situations have to face.

 Child abuse is a taboo subject still in many countries and we must encourage responsible debate around how child abuse can be prevented.

THURSDAY, JUNE 21: I went to the church around 9.20pm to pray a bit by myself, in peace. I got a bit annoyed, I don't understand why God doesn't answer my prayers. I think I need a sign of some sort. I miss her so much. It is so painful and I don't feel my life is complete and I won't ever feel it is complete, if she doesn't come home. Gerry came down later on to be with me.

Apart from a glass of wine, chocolate and this diary, there's nothing much else to tell.


We never thought it would happen: 50 days without Madeleine. Solidarity the world over has been expressed today with the launch of balloons in every continent to remember Madeleine and other missing children. The event in Praia da Luz had considerable media interest as did many other releases the world over. Sean and Amelie released their balloons shortly after kate and I let go our 50 and we were pleased the media respected our wish for the twins not to be photographed any longer. Please send digital images and video of your local event to

We were not planning to say anything at the launch but there was such a large turnout from Portuguese TV who we have not spoken

to for some time that we decided to answer their questions. The beauty of the launch was the local and international dimension with media coverage spreading Madeleines image far and wide.

We have seen the video of the Ullapool (home of the website and my sister Phil) launch, Glasgow and extensive pictures from

Amsterdam. We very much look forward to seeing pictures from all the other venues. One of these balloons may just be found by someone who recognises Madeleine and alerts the authorities.

FRIDAY, JUNE 22: I miss Madeleine loads and that's a real understatement. Sometimes I think I must have done something so bad. (Then Kate recalls the IVF treatment she needed to get pregnant) It was so difficult and painful 'trying' to have Madeleine and now this!!!

Why''' Bad luck''' A sick joke''' And then I think I don't want to think about me' I'm an adult, but Madeleine, dear, sweet, vulnerable, beautiful Madeleine... and I just feel like screaming. WHY'

Dear Lord, I continue to ask, continue to hope, continue to try to have faith in You. Please help us. Put an end to this nightmare. Please help Madeleine. PLEASE LORD.


Madeleine, I love you with all my heart. You are part of my being and I will never feel whole without you. I hope and pray for the day, hopefully soon, when we will be reunited and together again FOREVER. I miss you so much. I need you. I love you. XXXXXXXXXXX

Relatively quiet day today although we did spend some time planning campaign strategy this morning. This afternoon friends of ours from Leicester who are holidaying in the Algarve came over to Praia da Luz with their 2 year old son. It was good to see them and the twins certainly enjoyed having an extra play mate round the pool.
SATURDAY, JUNE 23: I woke up after 7am hesitating (again!) about going running but eventually I built up enough enthusiasm to convince Gerry that we should go. He ran quite well and without a doubt it was worth us going.

Will we see her again one day' How can this end well now' She's so precious. God I need you to do something soon. I'm so desperate and suffering so much.

This evening I felt quite low again. It's the awful uncertainty, helplessness and worry. It's really unbearable. I only want to be able to hide or hibernate until this is all over and Madeleine is back. Please make sure she's OK.

The usual' dinner, a few drinks and emails. Good night. Good night my darling, longing to lie down...


We attended the local church service this morning as usual. After mass we bumped into an old colleague of my brothers who aslo happens to be from Liverpool and had a good chat with her.

There are very little media left in Praia da Luz although there was still one cameraman and photgrapher outside the church. Our requsets to respect our privacy have been folowed, with one or two minor exceptions during the last 52 days. Most of the campaigning will be done behind closed doors from now on and it is essential that Amelie and Sean are allowed to grow up without continually being photographed.

We picked the twins up early from the kids club and had a really nice afternoon with them, playing with some new toys and then down at the pool.

If Madeleine is not found in the next couple of weks we need to move out of the

appartment we have been staying in as the family is coming out for a holiday. I have to say the owners have been extremely understanding, as they came to Praia da Luz for a holiday and relocated to another apartment to save us moving again.

This degree of flexibility does not exist in the resort in high season. We have managed to look at a few properties to rent in the last couple of days and I think we have found somewhere suitable to live until we return back to the UK with Madeleine.

SUNDAY, JUNE 24: Oh, Madeleine, I find the nights so difficult and only God knows how things are going to find you. I just want to say, once again, that you have been the most special and amazing thing that ever happened to me.

I've never felt such love for another person. I hope and I trust that God and Mary are protecting you and I only know that Dad and I and all your wonderful family and friends will continue to search for you, and we all long for the day when you will be back with us again' FOREVER! XX

Good night. Good night darling. I love you XXXXXXXX

Today was largely spent doing some behind the scenes campaigning. We had a meeting about an interesting idea that would help keep Madeleines profile high here in Portugal. Although I hope it comes to fruition, like many of the ideas it requires a lot of planning and cooperation. I will be having another admin day tomorrow working on implementing our campaign events.

We were invited round to some firends for dinner which was great, especially for Sean and Amelie. Finished the night off answering e-mails. Lots of photographs are coming through for Madeleines 50 day balloon launch. Keep them coming and we will get them posted soon.

Met with the Portuguese and British police for an update on the investigation. We raised the question of what someone should do if they think they see Madeleine. The clear advice is to call the local police as soon as possible or someone working in an official capacity such as hotel staff or tour representative. Please note that the emergency police numbers are variable in each country. The number in Portugal and Spain is 112 but in Germany it is 110 . The number for most countries can be found at  and for those going on holiday it might be a good idea to enter the number in your mobile phone.

If there is a sighting the police would need as much information as possible. If there is a car involved please remember to record the registration number if possible.

We have met so many well-wishers from Ireland over the last 54 days and have recieived hundreds of letters. On Friday of this week there is a mini-vigil specially for Madeleine at Knock, Irelands holiest shrine, which will be attended by family and friends. The vigil will take place from 8pm-midnight

TUESDAY, JUNE 26: I went for a short walk to the shops nearby. I had heard that there was a paedophile there. Nice, isn't it'

If people informed us about these criminals of course we'd be more cautious and we'd feel safer!

Unfortunately I read two books of messages that had been delivered... There were three horrible ones. One from a former Met Police officer' very insensitive/ cruel and far from constructive! Another said 'R.I.P. Maddie' 'how appalling!

Well, not surprisingly I was very upset and I went out to the rocks on the beach. I cried a lot and spoke to Madeleine and to God. I was still not ready to go but Gerry was calling me. The police had arrived, as planned, at the apartment. I calmed down and went to the meeting with the police. Everything seems to be so slow. We finished at around 7pm so I went to be with the kids and tell them bedtime stories. I had dinner, had a few drinks despite having said I wanted it without alcohol!! We talked some more.

My darling Madeleine, I feel such fear and dread when I think of you. Every day and every night, it is TOO MUCH. I can only have hope and trust in God and Mary to look after you and bring you back to us soon.

I'm so sorry if I/we let you down. I hope you know how fond of you we are and that we would NEVER do anything intentionally that would put you in danger' of any kind. You are so precious to me. You make me so happy and I miss you so much. Please God, please Mary, keep watch over our sweet Madeleine. Keep her safe and sound and bring her back to us soon! X X

Kate and I would like to emphasise that if anyone who thinks they have information relevant to Madeleine’s abduction, then please pass this on to your local police.

It does not help us to receive such Information directly- we will only pass it on to the police for it to be considered in context of the overall investigation.

If people are unhappy to speak to the police directly information can be given to the international crimestoppers anonymously.

Busy day- some very good phone calls with important child welfare organsations who we will be working closely with in the future. I have no doubt we will be able to sustain a high profile for Madeleines disappearance in the long term.

There has been a lot of media publicity over arrests in Spain tonight following information related to the investigation to find Madeleine. This appears to be a clear signal from European police forces that they are treating all information relating to Madeleines disappearance very seriously

Early rise this morning dropping off and picking up good friends from the airport. One of our friends from Amsterdam, who has been actively campaigning to publicise Madeleines disappearance, dropped in to see us for a couple of hours since he is on a golfing trip in the Algarve.

Our friends brought back my wallet which had been returned, needless to say minus the Sterling, although all my cards and €30 were still in it! It is good to have my driving license back and one or two other important things.
2nd version
Family day spent with Sean, Amelie, our friends and their kids. Attended mass this evening which was conducted in English with prayers for Madeleine.

We have confirmed our new accommodation and will be moving in the next few days. We seem to have acquired a lot more stuff, partucularly the twins with lots of well wishers sending them toys. We will be

staying on Portugal for the immediate future and are determined to

come home with Madeleine.

Staying in the Algarve also makes it easier to stay in touch with the Portuguese polce, this is particularly important with the investigation being so active. We have regular meetings and calls to keep
abreast of developments.

Day 58 - 30/06/2007 - Saturday
1st version
Family day spent with Sean, Amelie, our friends and their kids. Attended mass this evening which was conducted in English with prayers for Madeleine.

We have confirmed our new accommodation and will be moving in the next few days. We seem to have acquired a lot more stuff, partucularly the twins with lots of
well wishers sending them toys, We will be staying on Portugsl for thr immrdiste future and are determined to come home with Madeleine.

Staying in the Algarve also makes it easier to stay in touch with the Portuguese polce, this is particularly important with the investigation being so active. We have regular meetings and calls to keep abreatst of developmennts.
Family day again, apart from some packing and sorting. Our friends are heading home in the morning and I picked up some family from the airport tonight. Our campaign manager has also flown in and we will be finalising a few more events for the coming weeks
We completed our move to the new accommodation today. It took longer than expected as we moved the thousands of letters of suuport we have recieved and all the new toys. These letters and messages of support have given us tremendous encouragement and we would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to write to us and to those who have donated to Madeleines Fund, helping us continue the campaign to find Madeleine.

Most of this evening was spent on the phone and answering e-mails finalising forthcoming campaign events. There should be some stuff in the press in the next few days although we are very aware that the recent terrorist activity will, quite rightly, continue to dominate the news.

MONDAY, JULY 2: (The day the McCann's had to move from the Ocean Club apartment to a rented house.)

I started to put everything in the suitcases and then I took S and A to the Kids' Club around 09.20 and then I came back to pack the cases. We moved everything to the house around 10:30. Although now I think that it is a good thing to move to the house' with a bit more privacy' everything feels wrong and painful without Madeleine. I cannot believe that this has happened. She is so loving and I desperately want her back. Sean and Amelie appeared very excited about the 'new house' especially with regard to their room. After lunch on the terrace, Gerry filled the Jacuzzi with cold water and the children enjoyed themselves immensely in their 'swimming pool'. I went to look for Chinese food for 4.

Oh dear Madeleine, where are you' Are you nearby' Please keep well and be strong, my little one. We are desperate to find you. We love you very much. You are so special. I long to give you the biggest hug in the WORLD!! I miss you so much. I love you so much my dear Madeleine.'

We did a single interview today for the Portuguese media with a British journalist sitting in. The interview marked the fact that it is two months to the day since Madeleine was abducted. We took the opportunity to emphasise that we would be staying in Portugal for the immediate future and continuing the campaign to help find Madeleine. We also want to work closely with the media here in Portugal and engage closely with the Portuguese people who have been so supportive.

We were asked what was the hardest day since Madeleine disappeared and replied
that every day has been hard without Madeleine. We also stated that our determination to find Madeleine is matched by the Portuguese police and that we have a good working relationship with them. Our frequent meetings with the police help us stay informed, allow us to feed information into the investigation and let clarify information with senior officers conducting the investigation
Day 62 - 04/07/2007  


The England rugby team wore Look for Madeleine T-shirts at their open training session in the Algarve today. I am looking forward to seeing the pictures tomorrow! We had a brief, private meeting with the RFU management team last night to thank them for this unprompted show of support which helps keep Madeleines disappearance high profile here in Portugal and at home.

We also met today with SOS Crianca, which is the main child welfare non-governmental organisation in Portugal. Similar to our meetings with child welfare groups and ministers in other countries, they feel our campaign to keep Madeleines profile high is correct. It was a very constructive meeting and they have offered to help support us in any way they can. It is likely we will travel to Lisbon at some point to meet with other agencies to see what advice they have for us and if we can help them. We hope the huge amount of goodwill that has been generated following Madeleines abduction can be translated into tangible benefits for the future and we very much want to work with the organisations trying to prevent child abduction and expoitation.

It was heartening for Kate and I to learn of the release today of Alan Johnston after almost 4 months in captivity. Although the circumstances of his kidnapping are very different to that of Madeleines, it still lifted us to see him being freed knowing he will be reunited with his family shortly.

We also agree with the commentators who have stated his family have acted with tremendous dignity throughout and Alan himself appeared incredibly resilient and composed following his release. Our best wishes go to Alan and his family.
Heart wrenching to learn of the little British 3 year old girl who has been kidnapped in Nigeria. We know more than anyone what ther parents are going through and we hope, that like most of the kidnap victims in Nigeria, she is returned safely.

The pictures of the England rugby squad in their Madeleine t-shirts were excellent as were the comments of the players supporting the campaign to find Madeleine. We hope and pray she will soon be able to thank all of those who have helped us maintain such a high profile of her disappearance
THURSDAY, JULY 5: I got up at 7.15. Gerry went for a run.

NOTHING is or will be as good again without Madeleine.

I am thinking about you a lot, dearest Madeleine, and praying a lot so that we find you soon' alive and unharmed.

Stay strong' you know that we all love you very very very much XXXXX.

The major development today was the arrest of a 39 year old Dutch citizen in Eindhoven for attempted fraud. The man had sent six e-mails saying he knew who had Madeleine and where she was. He was demanding €2million for this information. After being arrested he has admitted he did not have any information and was motivated by boredom and trying to extort the money.

This arrest, after cooperation between the Portuguese, British and Dutch police forces, sends a clear message that this sort of crime is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. It also encourages Kate and I that all information about Madeleine coming through to the police in any European country will be taken seriously and rigorously evaluated.

FRIDAY, JULY 6: (The day a man was arrested in Holland for a cruel hoax intended to extort '1.3million from the McCann's in return for details of the kidnappers and Madeleine's location.) I wrote my emails and finished our statement for when the story broke about the Dutch man's extortion near lunchtime.

He's 39, unemployed, says that he was bored and wanted to play with our emotions. Bastard. David Miliband (the new Foreign Secretary) phoned Gerry to offer support.

Quiet family day.
SATURDAY, JULY 7: We had breakfast and got the children ready as usual. At 10.30 the four of us went to the Algarve Shopping Centre.

The plan was to buy sandals and some other things for the children. However the journey was a disaster. We had to stop three times on the way there, since Sean and Amelie were crying alternately.

I began to feel that it had been a wasted day, even though Sean and Amelie had some good goes in Noddy's car and Popeye's boat. The return journey was slightly more bearable.

I had a 'moment' while we were having lunch. I saw a woman who looked pregnant and I began to think about when I was pregnant with Sean and Amelie. And then it hit me. (Kate then remembers a touching scene from the past.) Madeleine was coming to visit us later that evening, the look of wonder on her face, and afterwards she got in beside me in bed. She was and is so adorable'a real jewel, a real gift. And I painfully miss her.

At around 18.00 went to church. It was good... there was nobody else there. Later Gerry turned up and joined me and we went down as far as the rocks on the beach and talked a little about Madeleine. But I began to feel slightly pessimistic and fearful. Please, my God, prove to us that we are not wrong. But I was feeling worse. Please, my God, let this have a happy ending.

I have been thinking a lot about you today, Madeleine. I am so worried and frightened for you. I can only hope that God has you in his hands and brings you back to us soon. Please, my God, help us, help Madeleine.

We love her and we need her so much, and she loves us and needs us. Please, please, please make it so that we have some good news soon. Good night darling. I love you. (I can hardly wait to say 'See you tomorrow.') XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A small event took place in Porto, in the north of Portugal, today to remember missing children. It was at a large schools end of year musical and the children and staff released balloons.

It is good that local communities are staging events like this and we thank them for remembering Madeleine.

We were glad to hear the young British girl kidnapped in Nigeria was returned safely today

No major news today but it was heartening to see both the British and Portuguese Prime Ministers, Gordon Brown and Jose Socrates, publicly pledge they would continue to do everything to help find Madeleine.
Kate and I both managed early morning runs today- it is definitely the time of day to it with the high temperatures in the middle of summer. Getting some aerobic exercise certainly helps us feel

better physically and psychologically which helps maintain our positive attitude.
The investigation into Madelienes disapperance remains very active and we note that the Portuguese police are conducting a series of interviews today and tomorrow.

Day 69 - 11/07/2007  


This morning got off to a bad start when we were called, even before the twins were awake, by a reputable press agency saying that a body had been found and asking if it was true. It is very disappointing that this person did not check out the source of this rumour before contacting our representatives. Such calls and rumours are distressing even though we know if it does not come through an official source not to place much emphasis on it.

The Portuguese police interviewed three of our friends again today, to clarify points in their initial statements. As most of you will know, there is a lot of misleading information being published, both in the press and on the internet, about the events leading up to Madeleine's disappearance and the criminal investigation. We would like to give more information, especially about inaccurate and hurtful reports, but cannot for fear of prejudicing any subsequent court proceedings. The Portuguese police have made it clear to us that all witnesses should not divulge or discuss the information they have provided. Kate and I are, of course not party to all of the information coming into the inquiry for sound operational reasons.
Similarly a lot of people have asked to learn more about Madeleines likes and dislikes.

This is information which we have been advised not to distribute publicly because of the risk of it being used in potential extortion attempts. The arrests recently in The Netherlands and Spain show that such information could be used negatively in the wrong hands.

It is ten weeks since Madeleine was abducted and every day has been incredibly hard for our family. No child should be separated from their family in such circumstances. The overwhelming messages of support, thoughts and prayers really help us stay strong. Somebody, somewhere knows where Madeleine is and it may take a single phone call for her to be found. We will not give up searching for her.
I came to London today to meet with the British police and will go to the Child Exploitaion and Online Protection Centre tomorrow to learn more about their role. As I have said previously we want to work closely with the police and child welfare organisations to help us keep awareness of Madeleines and other childrens disappearance high.

I was also invited to attend the National Police Federation Annual Bravery awards tonight. The work of the police is often taken for granted until you really need them. It was a humbling experience to see and meet so many officers who have shown such outstanding bravery in the line of duty and protecting us all.

  It was a fantastic opportunity to thank officers from all over the country who have been involved with the investigation to find Madeleine. The vast majority of those that I managed to speak to are, like us, very optimistic that we will find Madeleine safe and well.

THURSDAY, JULY 12: I hate the person who took my Madeleine'the same one who has caused all this trouble, who made us feel worthless and mistrustful and mainly who has frightened my beautiful Madeleine. I will never forgive that person/those people for this. Never.

Today I washed the Cuddle Cat (Madeleine's favourite soft toy and a constant comfort to heartbroken Kate). I was hoping not to have to do it until Madeleine returns, but it was now quite dirty and smelly, unfortunately without the smell of Madeleine on it. XX

Spent a large part of the day at the Child Exploitation and Online Protecetion (CEOP) headquarters in London. The work they are doing in the prevention and detection of child exploitation is fantastic and I have no doubt they are world leaders in many aspects of their work.

The statistics of child abduction in the UK, both attempted and sucessful cases, are stagggering with over 1000 reported cases in 2003/4 and the figures show a year on year increase. The scale of the problem is much larger than Kate and I ever imagined and worryingly there does not appear to be reliable statistics for many countries in Europe. Clearly a lot of work has to be done to tackle this growing problem.

Kate and I believe that someone, somewhere knows something about Madleines abduction.

The events of recent weeks and the high profile of Madeleine reassure us that when the key piece of information comes in, to any law enforcement agnecy, it will be treated seriously and fed into the inquiry quiickly and actioned

Kate, the twins and myself attended a family baptism today in Yorkshire where we stood as Godparents. At the end of the short service, which was lovely, prayers were said for Madeleine. It is the first time Kate has been to the UK since Madeleine

disappeared but we wanted to support our family the same way they have supported us over the last ten weeks and it was great to see so many family members together. We have also taken a huge amount of strength from our faith and of course the messages of support and prayers for Madeleine from people of all faiths around the world.

Travelled back to Portugal today on an early morning flight. It was heartening to see various posters of Madeleine up at all the check-in desks especially with the busy holiday season underway.

The flight itself was quiet for Kate and I as the twins fell asleep shortly after take-off. My mum and sister have also come out to for a few days so we managed to see a lot of family this weekend

The campaign to find Madeleine received a a massive boost today from JK Rowling. The author of the massive selling Harry Potter books has asked all retailers to display a specially designed poster of Madeleine when the sixth and final book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows goes on sale on Saturday 21st July. Ms Rowling, who lived in Portugal for several years, has offered amazing support in the search for Madeleine. As well as offering a large reward for Madeleines safe return she has also added information on Madeleines abduction on her own site with a link back to our homepage. Try and find the information at, I will give you a clue that it is under links! A huge thank you to JK Rowling and her publishers Bloomsbury for their support.

The new poster of Madeleine has been designed in conjunction with the International Centre for Missing and Exploited Children (ICMEC) and this is one of the things we have been working on in the last couple of weeks. ICMEC promote awareness of missing children globally and aim to prevent child sexual exploitation and abduction. The poster features 3 pictures of Madeleine with the advice to contact the local police if you see her. ICMEC, their logo and both theirs and our websites are also on the poster. The distribution of this poster will enhance the awareness of Madeleines disappearance, which we are advised increases the

chances of finding her, and the plight of other missing children.

With the announcement of the poster Kate and I also did a short interview for the press. A lot of photographs were taken of us with the poster so I suspect some of these will make it in to the newspapers in the next few days.


Madeleine has been missing for 75 days today and last night Kate and I attended mass to pray for her. On the back of the latest poster launch with Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, the extensive media coverage and the millions of people who are desperate to find Madeleine, we are still very hopeful that Madeleine will be safely returned. As parents, Kate and I cannot contemplate giving up the search for our daughter.

TUESDAY, JULY 17: Finding it very difficult to talk to people from home, unless they are directly involved. It is difficult to show an interest in other people's lives and children at the moment. I know it sounds horrible, selfish and egocentric, but at the moment I can only think about Madeleine. I don't want to hear about anyone having babies or getting pregnant (mainly because it was all so very difficult for us). I'm worried about turning into a bitter, angry woman, that would be horrible. Please God bring Madeleine back and let this nightmare end.

Please don't let our lives be destroyed by this. Please don't let them hurt Madeleine.

Earlier today I found Amelie in our room looking at photos of Madeleine and she said: 'I miss my sister. Where's my sister''

I couldn't believe it. I didn't realise Amelie's vocabulary and use of words was so good. I just said: 'I miss her too. We'll find her soon.' What a little sweetheart!

She then turned her attention to something else.

We took turns jumping into the water with the kids, which was great fun. After a DVD and a story it was the twins' bedtime which didn't take too long tonight. Madeleine, we are all with you darling.

Keep strong, be patient, we'll keep on going till we find you. I love you so much. We hope and pray we'll see you soon.

Goodnight, my darling. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Pretty busy day. Started off with a few phone calls and answering e-mails. We had a longer meeting than usual with the Portuguese police because I had gone back to London last week . We have a good relationship with them and, as well as the British officers who are in Portugal, we can feed any information sent to us back in to the enquiry through an English Speaking detective.

The investigation, as everyone has seen recently, is still very active. There is also a lot of labour intensive detective work going on behind the scenes. Kate and I hope and pray every day for a breakthrough and cannot consider going home without her

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18: It was suggested that Madeleine is dead and buried in an area close to the beach, behind the cliff.

What can I say' I feel my body's on the verge of collapse. How much pain and emotion can one body take' I had a bad afternoon. I was very worried, desperate, extremely on edge. I don't think I can take any more of this, I really can't. How much longer will this suffering go on' I need Madeleine ALIVE.

I was glad to see the messages of support page updated today after a few days with some technical hitches. Kate and I spent some time reading through them and your messages do help us, especially on days when we are feeling particularly low. Our search for Madeleine is nothing without public support and we would like to give our thanks to everyone who has helped us in any way over the last 77 days.

The kids are really enjoying spending time with their granny who they have not seen for two months.
They particularly enjoyed her mashed potatoes tonight which brought a big smile to my mums face. The last couple of days we have spent an hour or two by a nearby pool and their confidence in the water has really improved.


Kate and I spent a few hours with our campaign manager discussing longer term strategies to maintain Madeleines profile, in case she is not found soon. We had a long conference call with two organisations that are keen to help us with the campaign but there is still quite a bit of work to be done before this venture can be announced.  

We also managed an early morning run together, thanks to my mum supervising the kids breakfast. We made it to the top of the cliffs overlooking Praia da Luz in 16 minutes although we did have to walk at the steepest part. I had my first visit to a nearby beach for a

while with the kids late on this afternoon whilst Kate took the opportunity to get through lots of e-mails. The twins took great delight in burying me in the sand, building (well mainly knocking down) sandcastles and trying to jump out of the waves, which were tiny although the water was certainly colder than I was expecting.

Relatively quiet day on the campaign front. Spent the day with the kids and visited the Algarve Zoo Marine which they really enjoyed, particularly the dolphins
SATURDAY, JULY 21: I continue to feel very low. I miss Madeleine so much. It's as if a ray of light has disappeared from my life. There's no doubt that Madeleine is that ray and I miss her more than words can say.

We just wrote our blogs/diaries. Once again those dark thoughts returned, linked with feelings of anxiety, fear and worry. How much longer will we have to cope with this pain'

My poor, poor Madeleine. Why, Lord' My heart aches with so much love for you, Madeleine. I just hate being without you.

(Kate then relives the last time they saw Madeleine in the Ocean Club apartment.)

If I could go back in time, I would. I have clear recollections of that night. You were so tired. After your baths, you sat on my knee and put my wedding ring on your finger. We (me, you, Sean and Amelie) read 'Mog' in the living area and then 'if you're happy and you know it'. We all sat down on your bed.

Then you counted the squares on the last page. You were always counting things on pages...always laying your head on your pillow at the same time every night. Madeleine you make me so happy. I just want you home. I love you so much. XXXXXXX


Spent the whole day travelling from the Algarve to Washington where I will be visiting the National and International Centers for Missing and Exploited Children and meeting politicians involved in recent legislation on missing children. The flights for our campaign manager and myself were kindly donated by an airline.


There is a very upsetting story on the front page of a British National Newspaper today. The headline suggests that Kate and I face prosecution for neglecting our children by dining 50 yards away and checking on them regularly. We know that there has been criticism in some quarters of our actions but at the time, we felt our actions were responsible. We were essentially performing our own baby listening service although we have talked of the guilt we felt at now being there at the moment Madeleine was taken.


We have been advised that legally our behaviour was well within the bounds of responsible parenting and subsequently been assured that no action will be taken. These types of criticism, particularly at this stage, as well as being hurtful are extremely unhelpful in the search for Madeleine. From the moment we discovered Madeleine missing Kate and I have done everything in our power to try and help get her back.


Our opinion now is completely clouded by what has happened to us and of course has sent shock waves through thousands of families. The real issue is that we should not have a constant fear of abduction of our children from their bedrooms,

gardens or streets for that matter.

What Kate and I did was at worst naďve and no one should forget that the real criminal is the predator who has taken a completely innocent child in such a premeditated fashion. It is this act that has wreaked havoc on our family and affected millions of other people


Very busy day and I was almost asleep by the time I got back to the hotel so apologies for not posting the blog earlier. We started off by spending the morning at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). We had a tour of the NCMEC led by President Ernie Allen who has been there for 23 years and there is little he does not about missing children.


The work done at NCMEC is extremely impressive. It coordinates information for all missing children and it was the center that pushed for the implementation of the early warning missing child (AMBER) alert throughout the USA. The center was also instrumental along with the founder, John Walsh, in getting the Adam Walsh bill passed on the 25th anniversary of the young boys murder.


NCMEC officials organised a meeting with the US attorney general Gonzales at the justice department. He was already aware of Madeleine’s disappearance and has made child protection a major concern for him. I explained in a little more detail regarding Madeleine’s case and the fact that she is still missing after 81 days. He was very supportive of the campaign to keep Madeleines profile high and of the work that we are doing with NCMEC and its International division (ICMEC).


We went back to NCMEC in the afternoon and I had detailed discussions with some of the experts there regarding Madeleines disappearance. We also had a board meeting with ICMEC regarding working together on other developments in raising the profile of missing children particularly using internet resources.


Finished the day off with an interview for Americas Most Wanted who have been following Madeleines abduction almost since the beginning. The programme is actually hosted by John Walsh and has massive viewing figures of around 12 million

MONDAY, JULY 23: I got up at 7.00 and went running. I was surrounded by a pack of dogs (more or less 12)'it really wasn't a nice experience. I went to the flat, high part of the cliff as I felt really alone and a little frightened. Please God, don't let Madeleine be buried here. Please God, make sure she's alive. Please God, bring her back quickly to us.

I took S and A to the Kids' Club at 9.45 then I went to church to pray a little on my own.

Every single moment of happiness with Sean and Amelie, who are both so delightful, is mixed with deep sadness. All I want is Madeleine to be safe and happy again.

Baths, stories and some bedtime chaos from Sean and Amelie before I finally put them to bed at 21.15.

I spent some time on the internet reading about Sarah Payne (Roy Whiting), Eliz. Smart (Brian Mitchell) and the Peter Voisey case (he abducted a six-year-old girl from the bath in North Tyneside). Really horrible.

Night, night sweetheart. I'm trying to be positive. I need to be because I need to believe that you're going to come back to me, so I can go back to being truly happy. I love you XXX.

Another busy day in Washington. Started early on at NCMEC with interviews from 6.15am for the five major US TV networks morning news shows. A very serious issues programme 20-20 was also recording our visit to the America, as they will also be producing a piece on the search to find Madeleine.

Late morning we had a visit to the White House to meet with the First Lady's deputy chief of staff Sarah Armstrong. This visit was facilitated by Lady Catherine Meyer, founder of the British charity PACT, which is an affiliate of ICMEC and has done so much to raise awareness of missing children in the UK. Mrs Bush is a strong supporter of child welfare issues and is in fact an Honorary Board member of ICMEC. They were already aware of Madeleines disappearance and I took the opportunity to fill them in on my visit to Washington, particularly the work we are doing with ICMEC and the meeting we had with the attorney general. We finished with a very quick tour of the public areas in the White House which is a very impressive building and we also met one of the Presidents Scottish terriers! Immediately following the visit I did a few interviews for the British Media in front of the White House.

After a very brief lunch it was on to Capitol Hill for meetings with politicians who have been instrumental in getting the Adam Walsh BIll and others passed. We met with Democrat congressman Nick Lampson and Republican Senator Robert Shelby who both know the board members of NCMEC very well. They were both very keen to do what they could to help find Madeleine and the support during the visit we have received has been tremendous.

I spoke to Kate and the kids, whose telephone skills are developing very quickly

which is nice for me when I am away like this. Kate has stayed on in Portugal and has been keeping in touch with the police but there are no major developments to report. In the evening I managed to meet up with a friend from Glasgow who is also a cardiologist and working in the Washington area. We went for a bite to eat and it was good to sit down quietly with a familiar face for an hour or two.

TUESDAY, JULY 24: Sean and Amelie had lots of fun in the Jacuzzi' laughter galore! Carrot sticks and crisps were had by all at teatime.

Oh, darling Madeleine. It pains me to think of you' it causes me such sorrow and I have no idea how you feel. I pray to God that you are well, that you are not hurt. I pray that God keeps you safe and sound and that you're not afraid, nor in pain.

Please God, answer my prayers and please, please, please bring Madeleine back to us very soon, for our own happiness. Please God.

Madeleine, sweetheart, I love you so much. I can't stop saying it. Night, night darling. We will keep hoping and having faith in God. XXXXXXX.

Up early this morning catching up with e-mails and phone calls as well as updating the blog. Managed another early morning run, round Washington centre this time, which is quite beautiful with grand buildings and monuments separated by wide grassy areas.

I had another meeting with another congressman Mike Rogers who is an ex-FBI agent and we distributed wristbands to Nick Lampson and some of his colleagues as well as members of NCMEC

This afternoon we had a meeting with the British Ambassador at his residence to update him on our meetings. The Embassy itself is a stunning building almost rivalling the Whitehouse

Flying back to Portugal this evening to get back to the family. I have no doubt that this visit to Washington has been extremely productive and will really help to maintain Madeleines profile. We will continue to work closely with ICMEC who have incredible experience and energy in dealing with missing children.


WEDNESDAY, JULY 25: I received some bad news last night. A friend has breast cancer and has just received her first dose of chemotherapy following surgery. Horrible. I will include her in my prayers.

At around 15.30 I went for a run. I had begun to feel restless and worried about Madeleine. It was hot and hard work, but I felt better for having gone.

We returned at around 18.15 'the children's dinner and baths, our dinner.

(and the children's once again!).

Madeleine, sweetheart, you are the most important thing, the only thing that matters. Words cannot describe how I feel about you nor how restless, tormented, alone, sad and incomplete I feel.

I will continue to hope and pray that you come back to us soon but I don't want to think about how good it would be to feel something like that' not yet, at least.

I love you so, so much darling. I remember sitting watching you through the glass window when you were having your swimming lessons on a Saturday morning. There you were with your yellow swimsuit, ever so pretty and you were smiling and waving at me, and the tears rolled down my face!

I was and am still so proud of you, Madeleine, and my love for you is never-ending. I can't stop saying how much I love you dearly. I'm going to try and stay strong for you and you have to do the same. You know we love you and we are going to keep going until we find you again.

All my love, Madeleine. Night, night. Sleep well. May God protect you. XXXXX.

Spent most of the day travelling getting back to Portugal late afternoon. It was great to be back with Kate and the kids after the short visit to Washington. It was also great to see so many pictures from the 50th day balloon launch on the website.

A lot of people have been asking what can they do to maintain the search for Madeleine. The advice we have had consistently from the beginning, and very much re-emphasised by the experience of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children is to maintain a high profile for the missing child. This can be achieved by

relatively simple measures such as displaying posters in prominent public places. We ask people to continue downloading posters from the website and display them at bus stations, train stations and of course take them on holiday. Kate and I would like to thank everyone who desperately wants us to be reunited with Madeleine and have helped in this regard.

2nd version new website
Quite a lot of e-mails and telephone calls today planning future events, which might be helpful to keep Madeleine in peoples minds. I am sure there will be a lot of interest in Saturday August 11th because that will mark 100 days if Madeleine is still missing. This date coincides with the world pipe band

championships being held in Glasgow. A former world pipe band champion, Alasdair Gillies who is a friend of one of my sisters, has composed a ‘Marvellous March for Madeleine’ that will be played by 100 pipers from all over the world. It should be quite a spectacle and hopefully it will be a celebration, and not a another marker that Madeleine is still missing

Day 85 - 27/07/2007 - Friday
1st version old website

Quite a lot of e-mails and telephone calls today planning future events, which might be helpful to keep Madeleine in peoples minds.
I am sure there will be a lot of interest in Saturday August 11th if Madeline because that will mark 100 days if Madeleine is still missing. This date coincides with the world pipe band championships being held in Glasgow. A former world pipe band champion, Alasdair Gillies who is a friend of one of my sisters, has composed a Marvellous March for Madeleine that will be played by 100 pipers from all over the world. It should be quite a spectacle and hopefully it will be a celebration, and not a another marker that Madeleine is still missing.
Quiet family day, as is often the case of a Saturday. It has become blisteringly hot here over the last few days and we decided to take the kids down to the beach early morning. Even then it was hot and there was almost no breeze although the water is still very cold. Met a very nice Portuguese couple who offered us good wishes in trying to find Madeleine.
SATURDAY, JULY 28: I got up at 7.30 after a late and disturbed night of sleep.

At around 16.20 we had a dip in the Jacuzzi. Sean and Amelie loved it. After tea I went to the small church. I was a little tearful.

It's really hard for me not to worry about the small things. I wonder does anyone brush her teeth' She looks so happy in that photo taken on that last day.

I know I'm repeating myself but I can't stop myself from saying how much I love you, Madeleine. I'll say it as many times as I need to. You're so, so special. XXXXX.

Dropped Trisha and Sandy off at the airport this morning for an emotional farewell. They have offered us the most unbelievable support and I am not sure how we would have functioned without

them here. They have been the silent face of the campaign to find Madeleine, putting their lives on hold to help us get through each difficult day. From time to time we will have other friends and family coming to Portugal to see the kids and catch up with Kate and I.

We had a routine meeting today with the Portuguese police. Kate and I are confident that every avenue is being explored and the vital piece of information that leads to Madeleine is only a phone call away.

This is the last time we will have met the Consul General in a professional capacity, as he retires tomorrow and will be returning to the UK. Bill has provided us with consular support since day 1 and, naturally, he got to know us very well during the last 3 months. He has said that Madeleines abduction is the most tragic circumstance he has had to deal with. Without doubt Bill has given us excellent support and we wish him and his wife a very happy retirement
Day 89 - 31/07/2007  


Relatively quiet day apart from phone calls and campaign related e-mails.

We have Busy couple of days coming up so off to bed relatively early (before midnight)!

TUESDAY, JULY 31: (The day before police seized the diary) I got up early after another late and very disturbed night.

I dropped by the church. I feel better after these short conversations.

I cooked my first meal (since they took Madeleine!!) for dinner tonight.

Please God' make me right. Please God' protect her. Please God' bring her back to us soon!

Night, night Madeleine, by dearest little angel. My sweetheart, my darling, my love, my companion. I love you more than anything. Lots of hugs my darling. I'm going to dream that I'm lying by your side' moments I'll always cherish and I long to have again.

Sweet dreams my little one. Be strong. Mummy XXXXX.

Pope was so gentle and so sincere

DEVOUT Catholic Kate's nerves were on edge as she and Gerry prepared to meet the Pope at the Vatican on May 30.

On May 28 she wrote: 'I felt somewhat concerned. This is going to be a little too much, I only want Madeleine back and to return to our normal life.'

Two days later her diary recalls: 'Pope Benedict XVI arrived in his 'pope mobile' waving to everyone. It immediately became clear that he recognised us. He took hold of our hands and he was so gentle, so sincere.

'I thanked him for having allowed us to be there with him. He said he would pray for us and that he would continue to pray for Madeleine and for her safe return. I gave him the photo of Madeleine' he blessed it (with the thumb)' something that we would be able to keep for ever. A shy man but very friendly.

'Very emotional, very positive, very important' charming.

'Please, God, bring back to us little Madeleine. We love her so much and we miss her so much. Please Lord, help us to be united once again shortly as a family.

'Later on, Clarence (Foreign Office family liaison) told me that, before that (meeting the Pope), a butterfly had flown above and had landed on the bow on my hair.

'Following on, it left, but it came back and landed on my lapel. An omen, we hope.'


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