KATE MCCANNS DIARY

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Brush teeth. To the bedroom with the kids. M pulls away and puts her head on pillow. Kisses goodnight for M. Pulled the door to as far as possible without shutting it. Silence.

Dry hair. Put make-up on. Glass of wine. Restaurant.

(During dinner nearby with friends 'dubbed the Tapas 7 'the group took turns to check the children. At 10pm Kate discovers Madeleine gone. The McCann's and helpers frantically scour the area until 4am.)

Day 02 - 05/05/2007
Saturday

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Statement read by Kate McCann
given today  Monday 7 May at 2pm   

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8am Saturday 12th of May 2007
Madeleine's 4th Birthday    

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I got up at 06.50. I dealt with some trifles and got myself ready for the statement to the press at 08.00.

I tried to put on a slightly more presentable and 'healthy' air. Gerry again gave a great performance.

Following on we answered about four questions. I almost responded to the first one asking how we were, but I didn't. I did answer a question on our possible return home. I replied that obviously I didn't even think about that. Anyway, it seemed to have gone well. After breakfast and our having left S and A, (twins Sean and Amelie, then aged two) we went to church to pray in silence. Very good, calming.

After getting back I decided to go running' for the first time since THE day (already 11 days ago). I knew that it was going to be physically difficult, but I also knew that I wasn't going to give up, because it was for Madeleine and also because the level of pain is far higher now.

No cameras or journalists, which was great. I went running towards the beach and then along it and again climbed that hill so steep 'without stopping! (I carried a photo of M in my hand to keep me going.) On the last hill past the tennis courts my legs completely weak, but I managed to keep myself walking. I managed to reach the apartment then time to stop' to think' I felt really quite calm.

'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned'

This includes £50,000 donated by Portsmouth football club.

Funds taken over the counters of NatWest & RBS, along with the donations made by cheque, have not yet hit the account.

Further updates will be provided on Monday 21st May 2007

The family of Madeleine McCann are to-day launching the Madeleine’s Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned appeal. The funds will be used to help find Madeleine McCann, support her family and bring her abductors to justice. Any surplus funds will be used to help families and missing children in United Kingdom, Portugal and elsewhere in similar circumstances.

From this morning, Thursday May 17th:

·         members of the public will be able to make donations to 'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited' over-the-counter in any branch of NatWest and The Royal Bank of Scotland.

From now:

·         Postal Donations can be made with cheques payable to 'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned'. Cheques should be posted to the following address:

‘Madeleine’s Fund’
c/o The International Family Law Group
26 Southampton Street
Covent Garden
London
WC2E 7RS

Internet donations can be made into the following account:

'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned'

Branch
Natwest
PO BOX 113
Cavell House
2A Charing Cross Road
London
WC2H ONN   

Sort Code 60 40 05.
Account Number 32130058

Internet banking donations from abroad

IBAN :  GB63 NWBK 6040 0532 1300 58 
or
IBAN :   GB63NWBK60400532130058
Sort Code : 60 – 40 – 05
Account number : 32130058
Iban bic : NWBKGB2L

All donations will be processed free of charge.

Funds will be paid to Madeleine's Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited: Company Registration Number - 6248215 
3.     The objects of the Foundation are:
3.1.1   To secure the safe return to her family of Madeleine McCann who was abducted in Praia da Luz, Portugal on Thursday 3rd May 2007;
3.1.2   To procure that Madeleine’s abduction is thoroughly investigated and that her abductors, as well as those who played or play any part in   assisting them, are identified and brought to justice; and
3.1.3   To provide support, including financial assistance, to Madeleine’s family.
3.2     If the above objects are fulfilled then the objects of the Foundation shall be to pursue such purposes in similar cases arising in the United   Kingdom, Portugal or  elsewhere.

Madeleine parents believe she is safe

The parents of missing four-year-old Madeleine McCann said they had taken "tremendous strength" from the "warmth and spiritual outpouring" from all around the world.

Gerry and Kate McCann issued a brief statement from the Portuguese holiday resort of Praia da Luz 11 days after their little girl disappeared from their hotel room.

The pair said they were "fully supporting" the police investigation into their daughter's abduction and reaffirmed their belief that their daughter is safe.

Mr McCann said: "Until there is concrete evidence to the contrary, we believe Madeleine is safe and is being looked after".

Madeleine's mother also emphasised that the couple had no intention of returning to Britain from Portugal in the immediate future.

A British legal team has flown to Praia da Luz to help them and has launched a special "fighting fund" to help in the hunt for Madeleine.

A statement from the International Family Law Group, the firm instructed by the McCanns, said details of how people could make donations would be released within days.

A QC, Michael Nicholls, has also been instructed by the family as their determined battle to find Madeleine enters another week.

Madeleine's uncle John McCann, who lives in Glasgow but was in Praia da Luz last week, said the lawyers would play a liaison role and would not interfere with the criminal investigation.

A spokesman for the International Family Law Group said yesterday: "Gerry and Kate are very grateful for all the support and generous offers of help that they are receiving.

"Details of how contributions can be made to help get Madeleine back to the safety of her own family will be made available in the next couple of days."

The McCanns were among around ten British people who have been re-interviewed by police in recent days to clarify their statements.

This week some of the witnesses are expected to appear in court behind

closed doors to record their evidence before they go back to the UK. The McCanns themselves are not expected to be asked to take part.

The procedure, known as "memory for the future", means taped statements can be shown during a future trial so the witnesses do not have to return to appear in court.

Our day starts around 6.30am with us all waking up around the same time. We have breakfast with Sean and Amelie and our close family/friends who are here with us. Then its clean nappies and clothes for Sean and Amelie followed by showers etc for the rest of us.

Usually there’s some free time then for a few stories or games with the twins before heading out.

 

9.00-9.15 We take Sean and Amelie to Kids’ Club. They really enjoy it and run in.

 They know the staff well and the staff are all excellent. Both love the domestic corner and Amelie particularly likes to look after ‘babies’. We use the kids club a bit like nursery at home but we think Sean and Amelie still think they are on holiday!

9.30~12.15. We return to the apartments, usually for a series of meetings with our press officer, Mark Warner Reps, occasionally Consulate staff, lawyers and British Liaison officers. During this time we catch up with family and close friends, usually by telephone and discuss ideas how to keep Madeleine’s profile high especially throughout continental Europe.

12.30 Time to pick up Sean and Amelie from Kids’ club then head back to apartment for lunch, which has usually been prepared by one of our family/friends group who have been tremendously supportive.

13.30 –14.30 This is time to spend time playing with the twins either in the apartment or in the play area next to kids club.

14.30-15.00 Usually we take the twins back to Kids’ Club although Sean has had the odd afternoon in the apartment as it’s a bit cooler and he’s not much of a sun worshipper! They have been taking part in many different activities including painting, singing, stories, swimming, trips to the beach and they have lots of toys to play with.

15.00~17.00 We try to get some time together alone, going for a walk to talk things over or getting some exercise. This is often the time for quiet trips to the church for prayers.

 

17.00-17.30 Meet kids for high tea with other mums and dads. They love pasta and have been doing really well with their vegetables although a few chips have been squeezed in.

17.30-18.30. Games with kids at play area. Amelie loves trying to get in the baby pool!

18.30-19.30 Bath and story time with the twins.

20.00 We put the kids to bed.

20.30-23.00 We try to sit down for a family meal, again usually cooked by one of the small family group out here with us. Chat about the day’s events and plan the next day

23.30 bed and prayer for Madeleine that she will be returned to us safely

 ASAP.

In addition to above we try to attend various church services

during the week, and make multiple phone calls to family and

friends. We try to watch the main news

early morning and late evening but have had almost no time

to read

the newspapers or even look at the pictures!

Kate is a keen runner and in the last few days has tried to include a run in the

daily routine. Yesterday (Sat) at 7am we ran to the monument at the top of the steep cliff overlooking Praia de

Luz. We reached it in 19 minutes.

TO

which should help maintain the profile of her abduction.We are planning a relatively quiet day tomoorow

although the British Ambaasador is coming to visit and we need to start finalising our plans for interviews in areas of Europe where the coverage of Madeleine’s disappaerance has been limited.

Feeling a bit emotional afterwards.

The trip received a lot of publicity which should help maintain the profile of her abduction. We are planning a relatively quiet day tomoorow although the British Ambaasador is coming to visit and we need to start finalising our plans for interviews in areas of Europe where the coverage of Madeleine’s disappaerance has been limited.

(Then in a moving little message to Madeleine) I love you so much XXX

Spoke to Dad. I went for a walk to the beach with Sean and Amelie. Frozen. Beach' slippery, wet feet.

We all had dinner when we got back to the apartment.

We have to keep looking. We have to find you beloved xxxxx.

(Kate signed off the day's entry by drawing a heart with 'I LOVE MADELEINE' inside.)

Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since Madeleine was taken. Four weeks since we saw our special little girl. We are not certain that we will ever see her again, but know that we have to keep up our hope and strength' for the others, at least. Exhausted.

I love you so much, Madeleine. You must come back! X

This week I have been quite overtaken by black thoughts. Please, God, bring her back.

Bedtime is becoming more and more of a challenge.

An enjoyable afternoon' I never felt so relaxed. I felt it was wrong. S and A had fun and that was important. I also worried about what people might think, like 'How can they manage to...''

It seems that Sean is liking the beach more these days. We had tea in a nearby restaurant' good, despite still thinking that I had to do normal things without feeling guilty. We left around 7.30pm and the kids were completely exhausted.

Fed up again 'poor M. Once again it took a long time before S and A were sorted. Finally went to church for 10 minutes.

Private worship (despairing!).

Cried again in bed' I can't avoid it. I need her close to me. Thinking about her fear of pain breaks my heart. Thinking about paedophiles makes me want to tear at my own skin. Of course these people, like psychopaths, aren't 'normal' human beings. I was never in favour of the death penalty, but these people should be kept in a secure place. I wouldn't even complain if it was in nice surroundings, but, certainly in the case of paedophiles always distanced from any type of contact with children.

Whose human rights are more important' Those of a paedophile or of a vulnerable, defenceless child'

community for their support. The amount of media coverage Madeleine’s disappearance has received is phenomenal. After Morocco we will have to take stock and decide on our best strategy. I am not convinced going to other European countries and holding meetings similar to Berlin and Amsterdam will help.

I can't bear this. I can't bear being without Madeleine. It's like torture' a slow, painful death. I hope her suffering, if she is suffering, is much less. Please God

Quieter day today. This was a good chance to catch up with campaign e-mails and phone calls after the trips to Berlin and Amsterdam. At lunchtime we went to the release of 1000 yellow balloons at the beach carrying cards with Madeleine’s picture on it and information in 5 different languages including arabic. There were similar launches in Manchester and Madrid. The event was organsied by the Sun who, like almost all of the media, have been incredibly supportive. I told Nick, the Sun journalist, that we are happy to support all strategies which increase the chances of finding Madeleine. Later in the afternoon we went down to the beach and had dinner in one of the restaurants which Sean and Amelie really enjoyed. Sean, in particular has acquired a taste for sea-bass! Kate and I did a short interview for BBC East Midlands to thank everyone for their support and it is likely that this will be shown around most of the regions, certainly Northwest and BBC Scotland. Kate and most of the family headed down to the church for the regular Friday night vigil but I was just too shattered. Tommorrow will largely be a family day although I am not sure what we will be doing yet.

Met with Portuguese and British police today to get an update on the investigation. We were reaasured that information continues to come in, and we continue to pray for a breakthrough.

We were extremely disappointed in the publication of the anonymous letter in The Telegraaf (Netherlands) claiming to know where Madeleine is buried. Although all information will be taken seriously, we were very upset that the credibility of this letter had not been examined and, more importantly, published before the Portuguese police had an opportunity to investigate the claim, and search the area if appropriate without massive media attention. We feel strongly that this was an irresponsible piece of journalism and even if it were true is insensitive and cruel.

One can imagine how upsetting it is for Kate and I to hear of such claims
through the media and if every piece of information was published like this there would be nothing else in the newspapers.  

instrumental in helping with the campaign. He has been fantastic, producing the DVD of Madeleine to ‘Don’t you forget about me’

which has been shown at many sporting events and concerts as well as producing the look for maddie logo and various posters.

We spent most of the day updating each other and discussing future campaign ideas. We are getting closer to appointing a campaign manager who will handle media liaison and coordinating events to keep Madeleine’s disappearance highly visible

Madeleine is alive. We have made some real progress deciding on campaign strategy. There is a huge amount of goodwill from people who want to help us find Madeleine and we have some concrete offers of support and are trying to finalise details before releasing them.Tomorrow will be a family day.

particularly the twins. They were certainly happy to see our visitors! After lunch we headed off to the local zoo. Relatively quiet on the campaign front today as it is a family day. Tomorrow we will announce one or two planned events to keep Madeleines disappearnace high profile.

are Argentina, El Salvador, USA, Canada, Ireland, UK,
The Netherlands, Germany, Portugal (Kate and I in Praia da Luz), Spain, South Africa, Kenya, United Arab Emirates, Singapore, Australia and New Zealand. . Any other countries that wish to partcipate can download information from the website.

We talked about everything in general, including about them leaving Number 10. She agreed as well to make a 20-second video clip for our broadcast on YouTube about Madeleine and children who have disappeared.

I also had the chance to speak to Tony (then Prime Minister) who told me that we weren't to hesitate to ask him if there was something he could do to help.

On Sky News tonight they suddenly said the Portuguese police had stated that the crime scene had been contaminated' because of us' and that fundamental evidence had been lost. How dare they insinuate that our daughter's life could be put in danger because of us. Very angry. Very upset.

I want to speak to someone now, but it's too late.

I changed my mind and I sent a text message to Ricardo (Portuguese police family liaison officer). I don't know if was a sensible idea but I feel really annoyed.

My darling little Madeleine, you know that we wouldn't do anything to put you in danger.

I love you very much and I am in agony right now.

I only have to hope that God helps us all now and that he brings you back to us, safe and sound, very soon.

I need you to come back Madeleine. You are the best thing in my life that has ever happened to me. XXXXX

I ended up feeling very upset. Everything overflowed. Terrified that we might not get Madeleine back. I simply cannot face that. Tears, despair, rage, helplessness. I spoke to Gerry, recited prayers. Please God, bring her back XX

I fell asleep after 1am.

disappeared was intended.
There has been a good response to our planned balloon release for Madeleine and other missing children on Friday and we are confident that over 50 countries

will be represented.
The twins have really enjoyed seeing family who have been visiting us for the last 3 days- it has passed very quickly. Hopefully the next time we see them it will be with Madeleine.

Shower, lovely meal and a little playtime with the kids.

(But as night closes in Kate's anguish returns.)

I cant stand living like this. It's so painful and distressing. Dear Lord, PLEASE answer our prayers. PLEASE send Madeleine back to us. PLEASE.

I love you so, so much Madeleine, more than anything XXXXX.

Flew in to London to for a series of meetings. Helped a passenger on the flight who collapsed. He was ill enough to require a full assessment on arrival and went off to hospital in an ambulance.

Unfortunately shortly after arriving in London I had my wallet stolen which meant I was running late. I did manage to get to all my meetings which ran late into the evening. We had very good discussions regarding sustaining the search for Madeleine long term. The role for Kate and I in the campaign will not be nearly be so

public. We have to balance any campaigning in the search for Madeleine with protecting Sean and Amelie and making sure their privacy is protected.
We are exploring the use of new media and using local advertising, particularly in Europe.

 There will of course be event driven media

exposure such as the balloon launch on Friday 22nd. There are several other very good ideas being developed and a few large companies are willing to help us.

Good night, good night Madeleine, I'm longing to read you a bedtime story again. I love you my little darling X.

I'm longing to read you a bedtime story again. I love you my little darling X.

Another busy day of meetings this time in Leicester. No mishaps thankfully.The main meeting was that of Maddeleines fund where we discussed implementing a strategy to maintain our campaign to find Madeleine. It was agreed in principle to appoint a family spokesperson who will act, not just for Kate and I, but also on behalf of the extended family who have been liasing with the media. This appointment will take a lot of strain off family members who have been putting in such massive efforts to help find Madeleine.

We are delighted with the response to the 50th day balloon launch

which will truly be a global event. There will be a few variations to the release of balloons however. In Ventura, Southern California, 50 white doves will be released and in

Afghanistan kite racing, an activity banned under the Taliban, will be the order of the day.  Arrived back in Praia da Luz this evening and it was great to see Kate and the Kids, even though I was only away for a day and a half.

Went to pick up Gerry from the airport. It was so good to see him. Just before we reached the apartment we saw a man lying in the middle of the street, so we stopped the car and got out. It was no surprise to see that he was drunk (we've all been there!) but he recognised Gerry and me immediately. Gerry walked him round to his apartment.

remembered in Madrid and his family will be releasing balloons from Gran Canaria where he disappeared in March of this year.

Our campaign to find Madeleine will be associated with other child welfare issues in the future. We are very keen to see more debate

on issues that we and other families in similar situations have to face.
 

 Child abuse is a taboo subject still in many countries and we must encourage responsible debate around how child abuse can be prevented.

Apart from a glass of wine, chocolate and this diary, there's nothing much else to tell.

I LOVE YOU MADELEINE. GOOD NIGHT GOOD NIGHT X X X.

to for some time that we decided to answer their questions. The beauty of the launch was the local and international dimension with media coverage spreading Madeleines image far and wide.

We have seen the video of the Ullapool (home of the website and my sister Phil) launch, Glasgow and extensive pictures from

Amsterdam. We very much look forward to seeing pictures from all the other venues. One of these balloons may just be found by someone who recognises Madeleine and alerts the authorities.

Why''' Bad luck''' A sick joke''' And then I think I don't want to think about me' I'm an adult, but Madeleine, dear, sweet, vulnerable, beautiful Madeleine... and I just feel like screaming. WHY'

Dear Lord, I continue to ask, continue to hope, continue to try to have faith in You. Please help us. Put an end to this nightmare. Please help Madeleine. PLEASE LORD.

Unbearable

Madeleine, I love you with all my heart. You are part of my being and I will never feel whole without you. I hope and pray for the day, hopefully soon, when we will be reunited and together again FOREVER. I miss you so much. I need you. I love you. XXXXXXXXXXX

 of ours from Leicester who are holidaying in the Algarve came over to Praia da Luz with their 2 year old son. It was good to see them and the twins certainly enjoyed having an extra play mate round the pool.

Will we see her again one day' How can this end well now' She's so precious. God I need you to do something soon. I'm so desperate and suffering so much.

This evening I felt quite low again. It's the awful uncertainty, helplessness and worry. It's really unbearable. I only want to be able to hide or hibernate until this is all over and Madeleine is back. Please make sure she's OK.

The usual' dinner, a few drinks and emails. Good night. Good night my darling, longing to lie down...

We attended the local church service this morning as usual. After mass we bumped into an old colleague of my brothers who aslo happens to be from Liverpool and had a good chat with her.

There are very little media left in Praia da Luz although there was still one cameraman and photgrapher outside the church. Our requsets to respect our privacy have been folowed, with one or two minor exceptions during the last 52 days. Most of the campaigning will be done behind closed doors from now on and it is essential that Amelie and Sean are allowed to grow up without continually being photographed.

We picked the twins up early from the kids club and had a really nice afternoon with them, playing with some new toys and then down at the pool.

If Madeleine is not found in the next couple of weks we need to move out of the

appartment we have been staying in as the family is coming out for a holiday. I have to say the owners have been extremely understanding, as they came to Praia da Luz for a holiday and relocated to another apartment to save us moving again.

This degree of flexibility does not exist in the resort in high season. We have managed to look at a few properties to rent in the last couple of days and I think we have found somewhere suitable to live until we return back to the UK with Madeleine.

I've never felt such love for another person. I hope and I trust that God and Mary are protecting you and I only know that Dad and I and all your wonderful family and friends will continue to search for you, and we all long for the day when you will be back with us again' FOREVER! XX

Good night. Good night darling. I love you XXXXXXXX

working on implementing our campaign events.
 

We were invited round to some firends for dinner which was great, especially for Sean and Amelie. Finished the night off answering e-mails. Lots of photographs are coming through for Madeleines 50 day balloon launch. Keep them coming and we will get them posted soon.

If there is a sighting the police would need as much information as possible. If there is a car involved please remember to record the registration number if possible.
 

We have met so many well-wishers from Ireland over the last 54 days and have recieived hundreds of letters. On Friday of this week there is a mini-vigil specially for Madeleine at Knock, Irelands holiest shrine, which will be attended by family and friends. The vigil will take place from 8pm-midnight

If people informed us about these criminals of course we'd be more cautious and we'd feel safer!

Unfortunately I read two books of messages that had been delivered... There were three horrible ones. One from a former Met Police officer' very insensitive/ cruel and far from constructive! Another said 'R.I.P. Maddie' 'how appalling!

Well, not surprisingly I was very upset and I went out to the rocks on the beach. I cried a lot and spoke to Madeleine and to God. I was still not ready to go but Gerry was calling me. The police had arrived, as planned, at the apartment. I calmed down and went to the meeting with the police. Everything seems to be so slow. We finished at around 7pm so I went to be with the kids and tell them bedtime stories. I had dinner, had a few drinks despite having said I wanted it without alcohol!! We talked some more.

My darling Madeleine, I feel such fear and dread when I think of you. Every day and every night, it is TOO MUCH. I can only have hope and trust in God and Mary to look after you and bring you back to us soon.

I'm so sorry if I/we let you down. I hope you know how fond of you we are and that we would NEVER do anything intentionally that would put you in danger' of any kind. You are so precious to me. You make me so happy and I miss you so much. Please God, please Mary, keep watch over our sweet Madeleine. Keep her safe and sound and bring her back to us soon! X X

have information relevant to Madeleine’s abduction, then please

pass this on to your local police.
 

It does not help us to receive such Information directly- we will only pass it on to the

police for it to be considered in context of the overall investigation.

If people are unhappy to speak to the police directly information can be given to the international crimestoppers anonymously.

who we will be working closely with in the future. I have no doubt we will be able
to sustain a high profile for Madeleines disappearance in the long term.
 

There has been a lot of media publicity over arrests in Spain tonight following information related to the investigation to find Madeleine. This appears to be a clear signal from European police forces that they are treating all information relating to Madeleines disappearance very seriously

actively campaigning to publicise Madeleines disappearance, dropped in to see us for a couple of hours since he is on a golfing trip in the Algarve.

Our friends brought back my wallet which had been returned, needless to say minus the Sterling, although all my cards and €30 were still in it! It is good to have my driving license back and one or two other important things.

staying on Portugal for the immediate future and are determined to

come home with Madeleine.

Staying in the Algarve also makes it easier to stay in touch with the Portuguese polce, this is particularly important with the investigation being so active. We have regular meetings and calls to keep abreast of developments.

Most of this evening was spent on the phone and answering e-mails finalising forthcoming campaign events. There should be some stuff in the press in the next few days although we are very aware that the recent terrorist activity will, quite rightly, continue to dominate the news.

I started to put everything in the suitcases and then I took S and A to the Kids' Club around 09.20 and then I came back to pack the cases. We moved everything to the house around 10:30. Although now I think that it is a good thing to move to the house' with a bit more privacy' everything feels wrong and painful without Madeleine. I cannot believe that this has happened. She is so loving and I desperately want her back. Sean and Amelie appeared very excited about the 'new house' especially with regard to their room. After lunch on the terrace, Gerry filled the Jacuzzi with cold water and the children enjoyed themselves immensely in their 'swimming pool'. I went to look for Chinese food for 4.

Oh dear Madeleine, where are you' Are you nearby' Please keep well and be strong, my little one. We are desperate to find you. We love you very much. You are so special. I long to give you the biggest hug in the WORLD!! I miss you so much. I love you so much my dear Madeleine.'

that every day has been hard without Madeleine. We also stated that our determination to find Madeleine is matched by the Portuguese police and that we have a good working relationship with them. Our frequent meetings with the police help us stay informed, allow us to feed information into the investigation and let clarify information with senior officers conducting the investigation

he will be reunited with his family shortly.

We also agree with the commentators who have stated his family have acted with tremendous dignity throughout and Alan himself appeared incredibly resilient and composed following his release. Our best wishes go to Alan and his family.

The pictures of the England rugby squad in their Madeleine t-shirts were excellent as were the comments of the players supporting the campaign to find Madeleine. We hope and pray she will soon be able to thank all of those who have helped us maintain such a high profile of her disappearance

NOTHING is or will be as good again without Madeleine.

I am thinking about you a lot, dearest Madeleine, and praying a lot so that we find you soon' alive and unharmed.

Stay strong' you know that we all love you very very very much XXXXX.

motivated by boredom and trying to extort the money.

This arrest, after cooperation between the Portuguese, British and Dutch police

 forces, sends a clear message that this sort of crime is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. It also encourages Kate and I that all information about Madeleine coming through to the police in any European country will be taken seriously and rigorously evaluated.

He's 39, unemployed, says that he was bored and wanted to play with our emotions. Bastard. David Miliband (the new Foreign Secretary) phoned Gerry to offer support.

The plan was to buy sandals and some other things for the children. However the journey was a disaster. We had to stop three times on the way there, since Sean and Amelie were crying alternately.

I began to feel that it had been a wasted day, even though Sean and Amelie had some good goes in Noddy's car and Popeye's boat. The return journey was slightly more bearable.

I had a 'moment' while we were having lunch. I saw a woman who looked pregnant and I began to think about when I was pregnant with Sean and Amelie. And then it hit me. (Kate then remembers a touching scene from the past.) Madeleine was coming to visit us later that evening, the look of wonder on her face, and afterwards she got in beside me in bed. She was and is so adorable'a real jewel, a real gift. And I painfully miss her.

At around 18.00 went to church. It was good... there was nobody else there. Later Gerry turned up and joined me and we went down as far as the rocks on the beach and talked a little about Madeleine. But I began to feel slightly pessimistic and fearful. Please, my God, prove to us that we are not wrong. But I was feeling worse. Please, my God, let this have a happy ending.

I have been thinking a lot about you today, Madeleine. I am so worried and frightened for you. I can only hope that God has you in his hands and brings you back to us soon. Please, my God, help us, help Madeleine.

We love her and we need her so much, and she loves us and needs us. Please, please, please make it so that we have some good news soon. Good night darling. I love you. (I can hardly wait to say 'See you tomorrow.') XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It is good that local communities are staging events like this and we thank them for remembering Madeleine.

We were glad to hear the young British girl kidnapped in Nigeria was returned safely today.

summer. Getting some aerobic exercise certainly helps us feel

better physically and psychologically which helps maintain our

positive attitude.
The investigation into Madelienes disapperance remains very active and we note that the Portuguese police are conducting a series of interviews today and tomorrow.

The Portuguese police interviewed three of our friends again today, to clarify points in their initial statements. As most of you will know, there is a lot of misleading information being published, both in the press and on the internet, about the events leading up to Madeleine's disappearance and the criminal investigation. We would like to give more information, especially about inaccurate and hurtful reports, but cannot for fear of prejudicing any subsequent court proceedings. The Portuguese police have made it clear to us that all witnesses should not divulge or discuss the information they have provided. Kate and I are, of course not party to all of the

information coming into the inquiry for sound operational reasons.

Similarly a lot of people have asked to learn more about Madeleines likes and dislikes.

This is information which we have been advised not to distribute publicly because of the risk of it being used in potential extortion attempts. The arrests recently in The Netherlands and Spain show that such information could be used negatively in the wrong hands.

  It was a fantastic opportunity to thank officers from all over the country who have been involved with the investigation to find Madeleine. The vast majority of those that I managed to speak to are, like us, very optimistic that we will find Madeleine safe and well.

Today I washed the Cuddle Cat (Madeleine's favourite soft toy and a constant comfort to heartbroken Kate). I was hoping not to have to do it until Madeleine returns, but it was now quite dirty and smelly, unfortunately without the smell of Madeleine on it. XX

Kate and I believe that someone, somewhere knows something
about Madleines abduction.

The events of recent weeks and the high profile of Madeleine reassure us that when the key piece of information comes in, to any law enforcement agnecy, it will be treated seriously and fed into the inquiry quiickly and actioned.

disappeared but we wanted to support our family the same way they have supported us over the last ten weeks and it was great to see so many family members together. We have also taken a huge amount of strength from our faith and of course the messages of support and prayers for Madeleine from people of all faiths around the world.

heartening to see various posters of Madeleine up at all the
check-in desks especially with the busy holiday season underway.
 

The flight itself was quiet for Kate and I as the twins fell asleep shortly after take-off. My mum and sister have also come out to for a few days so we managed to see a lot of family this weekend

chances of finding her, and the plight of other missing children.

With the announcement of the poster Kate and I also did a short interview for the press. A lot of photographs were taken of us with the poster so I suspect some of these will make it in to the newspapers in the next few days.

mass to pray for her. On the back of the latest poster launch with Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, the extensive media coverage and the millions of people who are desperate to find Madeleine, we are still very hopeful that Madeleine will be safely returned. As parents, Kate and I cannot contemplate giving up the search for our daughter.

Please don't let our lives be destroyed by this. Please don't let them hurt Madeleine.

Earlier today I found Amelie in our room looking at photos of Madeleine and she said: 'I miss my sister. Where's my sister''

I couldn't believe it. I didn't realise Amelie's vocabulary and use of words was so good. I just said: 'I miss her too. We'll find her soon.' What a little sweetheart!

She then turned her attention to something else.

We took turns jumping into the water with the kids, which was great fun. After a DVD and a story it was the twins' bedtime which didn't take too long tonight. Madeleine, we are all with you darling.

Keep strong, be patient, we'll keep on going till we find you. I love you so much. We hope and pray we'll see you soon.

Goodnight, my darling. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

to the enquiry through an English Speaking detective.
 

The investigation, as everyone has seen recently, is still very active. There is also a lot of labour intensive detective work going on behind the scenes. Kate and I hope and pray every day for a breakthrough and cannot consider going home without her

What can I say' I feel my body's on the verge of collapse. How much pain and emotion can one body take' I had a bad afternoon. I was very worried, desperate, extremely on edge. I don't think I can take any more of this, I really can't. How much longer will this suffering go on' I need Madeleine ALIVE.

The kids are really enjoying spending time with their granny who they have not seen for two months.
They particularly enjoyed her mashed potatoes tonight which brought a big smile to my mums face. The last couple of days we have spent an hour or two by a nearby pool and their confidence in the water has really improved.

while with the kids late on this afternoon whilst Kate took the opportunity to get through lots of e-mails. The twins took great delight in burying me in the sand, building (well mainly knocking down) sandcastles and trying to jump out of the waves, which were tiny although the water was certainly colder than I was expecting.

Zoo Marine which they really enjoyed, particularly the dolphins

We just wrote our blogs/diaries. Once again those dark thoughts returned, linked with feelings of anxiety, fear and worry. How much longer will we have to cope with this pain'

My poor, poor Madeleine. Why, Lord' My heart aches with so much love for you, Madeleine. I just hate being without you.

(Kate then relives the last time they saw Madeleine in the Ocean Club apartment.)

If I could go back in time, I would. I have clear recollections of that night. You were so tired. After your baths, you sat on my knee and put my wedding ring on your finger. We (me, you, Sean and Amelie) read 'Mog' in the living area and then 'if you're happy and you know it'. We all sat down on your bed.

Then you counted the squares on the last page. You were always counting things on pages...always laying your head on your pillow at the same time every night. Madeleine you make me so happy. I just want you home. I love you so much. XXXXXXX

gardens or streets for that matter.
 

What Kate and I did was at worst naïve and no one should forget that the real criminal is the predator who has taken a completely innocent child in such a premeditated fashion. It is this act that has wreaked havoc on our family and affected millions of other people

the profile of missing children particularly using internet resources.

Finished the day off with an interview for Americas Most Wanted who have been following Madeleines abduction almost since the beginning. The programme is actually hosted by John Walsh and has massive viewing figures of around 12 million.

I took S and A to the Kids' Club at 9.45 then I went to church to pray a little on my own.

Every single moment of happiness with Sean and Amelie, who are both so delightful, is mixed with deep sadness. All I want is Madeleine to be safe and happy again.

Baths, stories and some bedtime chaos from Sean and Amelie before I finally put them to bed at 21.15.

I spent some time on the internet reading about Sarah Payne (Roy Whiting), Eliz. Smart (Brian Mitchell) and the Peter Voisey case (he abducted a six-year-old girl from the bath in North Tyneside). Really horrible.

Night, night sweetheart. I'm trying to be positive. I need to be because I need to believe that you're going to come back to me, so I can go back to being truly happy. I love you XXX.

which is nice for me when I am away like this. Kate has stayed on in Portugal and has been keeping in touch with the police but there are no major developments to report. In the evening I managed to meet up with a friend from Glasgow who is also a cardiologist and working in the Washington area. We went for a bite to eat and it was good to sit down quietly with a familiar face for an hour or two.

Oh, darling Madeleine. It pains me to think of you' it causes me such sorrow and I have no idea how you feel. I pray to God that you are well, that you are not hurt. I pray that God keeps you safe and sound and that you're not afraid, nor in pain.

Please God, answer my prayers and please, please, please bring Madeleine back to us very soon, for our own happiness. Please God.

Madeleine, sweetheart, I love you so much. I can't stop saying it. Night, night darling. We will keep hoping and having faith in God. XXXXXXX.

Flying back to Portugal this evening to get back to the family. I

have no doubt that this visit to Washington has been extremely productive and will really help to maintain Madeleines profile. We will continue to work closely with ICMEC who have incredible experience and energy in dealing with missing children.

Restless

WEDNESDAY, JULY 25: I received some bad news last night. A friend has breast cancer and has just received her first dose of chemotherapy following surgery. Horrible. I will include her in my prayers.

At around 15.30 I went for a run. I had begun to feel restless and worried about Madeleine. It was hot and hard work, but I felt better for having gone.

We returned at around 18.15 'the children's dinner and baths, our dinner.

(and the children's once again!).

Madeleine, sweetheart, you are the most important thing, the only thing that matters. Words cannot describe how I feel about you nor how restless, tormented, alone, sad and incomplete I feel.

I will continue to hope and pray that you come back to us soon but I don't want to think about how good it would be to feel something like that' not yet, at least.

I love you so, so much darling. I remember sitting watching you through the glass window when you were having your swimming lessons on a Saturday morning. There you were with your yellow swimsuit, ever so pretty and you were smiling and waving at me, and the tears rolled down my face!

I was and am still so proud of you, Madeleine, and my love for you is never-ending. I can't stop saying how much I love you dearly. I'm going to try and stay strong for you and you have to do the same. You know we love you and we are going to keep going until we find you again.

All my love, Madeleine. Night, night. Sleep well. May God protect you. XXXXX.

relatively simple measures such as displaying posters in prominent public places. We ask people to continue downloading posters from the website and display them at bus stations, train stations and of course take them on holiday. Kate and I would like to thank everyone who desperately wants us to be reunited with Madeleine and have helped in this regard.

Quite a lot of e-mails and telephone calls today planning future events, which might be helpful to keep Madeleine in peoples minds. I am sure there will be a lot of interest in Saturday August 11th because that will mark 100 days if Madeleine is

still missing. This date coincides with the world pipe band

championships being held in Glasgow. A former world pipe band champion, Alasdair Gillies who is a friend of one of my sisters, has composed a ‘Marvellous March for Madeleine’ that will be played by 100 pipers from all over the world. It should be quite a spectacle and hopefully it will be a celebration, and not a another marker
that Madeleine is still missing

blisteringly hot here over the last few days and we decided to take the kids down to the beach early morning. Even then it was hot and there was almost no breeze although the water is still very cold. Met a very nice Portuguese couple who offered us good wishes in trying to find Madeleine.

At around 16.20 we had a dip in the Jacuzzi. Sean and Amelie loved it. After tea I went to the small church. I was a little tearful.

It's really hard for me not to worry about the small things. I wonder does anyone brush her teeth' She looks so happy in that photo taken on that last day.

I know I'm repeating myself but I can't stop myself from saying how much I love you, Madeleine. I'll say it as many times as I need to. You're so, so special. XXXXX.

them here. They have been the silent face of the campaign to find Madeleine, putting their lives on hold to help us get through each difficult day. From time to time we will have other friends and family coming to Portugal to see the kids and catch up with Kate and I.

as he retires tomorrow and will be returning to the UK. Bill has provided us with consular support since day 1 and, naturally, he got to know us very well during the last 3 months. He has said that Madeleines abduction is the most tragic circumstance he has had to deal with. Without doubt Bill has given us excellent support and we wish him and his wife a very happy retirement

Relatively quiet day apart from phone calls and campaign related e-mails.
 

We have Busy couple of days coming up so off to bed relatively early (before midnight)!

TUESDAY, JULY 31: (The day before police seized the diary) I got up early after another late and very disturbed night.

I dropped by the church. I feel better after these short conversations.

I cooked my first meal (since they took Madeleine!!) for dinner tonight.

Please God' make me right. Please God' protect her. Please God' bring her back to us soon!

Night, night Madeleine, by dearest little angel. My sweetheart, my darling, my love, my companion. I love you more than anything. Lots of hugs my darling. I'm going to dream that I'm lying by your side' moments I'll always cherish and I long to have again.

Sweet dreams my little one. Be strong. Mummy XXXXX.
 

Pope was so gentle and so sincere

DEVOUT Catholic Kate's nerves were on edge as she and Gerry prepared to meet the Pope at the Vatican on May 30.
 

On May 28 she wrote: 'I felt somewhat concerned. This is going to be a little too much, I only want Madeleine back and to return to our normal life.'

Two days later her diary recalls: 'Pope Benedict XVI arrived in his 'pope mobile' waving to everyone. It immediately became clear that he recognised us. He took hold of our hands and he was so gentle, so sincere.

'I thanked him for having allowed us to be there with him. He said he would pray for us and that he would continue to pray for Madeleine and for her safe return. I gave him the photo of Madeleine' he blessed it (with the thumb)' something that we would be able to keep for ever. A shy man but very friendly.

'Very emotional, very positive, very important' charming.

'Please, God, bring back to us little Madeleine. We love her so much and we miss her so much. Please Lord, help us to be united once again shortly as a family.

'Later on, Clarence (Foreign Office family liaison) told me that, before that (meeting the Pope), a butterfly had flown above and had landed on the bow on my hair.

'Following on, it left, but it came back and landed on my lapel. An omen, we hope.'

DAYS  51 TO 100