' She reveals how she slept in a separate room after she felt hurt
and upset by what husband
Kate McCann today after it was revealed that the believes
Maddie may have tried to warn her of an intruder
' The hours leading up to moment Madeleine was discovered missing
' Why the McCanns left their three children alone in the holiday
Kate McCann slept alone the night before Madeleine vanished because her
husband had offended her at dinner, it emerged yesterday.
Upset by Gerry's 'abrupt' behaviour, she took to a spare bed in the
children's room at the family's holiday apartment in Portugal.
In her forthcoming book, which was serialised in The Sunday Times
yesterday, Mrs McCann also reveals she is haunted by the belief that
Madeleine tried to tell her that somebody had tried to break into the
With hindsight, it could have been her 'one chance to prevent what was
about to happen', said Mrs McCann, adding: 'And I blew it.'
Madeleine, who was three, disappeared from her bed in the family's
apartment in Praia da Luz on the evening of May 3, 2007, while her
parents were eating at a nearby tapas restaurant ' as they did every
night of the holiday.
The possible missed chance came at breakfast on the day Madeleine
vanished, when the little girl disconcerted her mother by asking: 'Why
didn't you come when Sean and I cried last night''
Mrs McCann, 43, says: 'Not for a moment did we think there might be some
sinister explanation. But it is [now] my belief there was somebody
either in or trying to get into the children's bedroom that night, and
that is what disturbed them.
'So haunted have I been ever since by Madeleine's words that I've
continued to blame myself for not sitting down and making completely
certain there was no more information I could draw out of her.'
Her emotional book, called Madeleine, is being published this Thursday '
the day of Madeleine's eighth birthday.
In one extract, Mrs McCann describes her horror at discovering a
predatory paedophile could easily have been tipped off that Madeleine
was vulnerable, by a staff note on display at reception which revealed
the McCanns 'were leaving our young children alone ... and checking on
The note was written by a receptionist to staff explaining why they
wanted to reserve tables every night close to their Algarve apartment.
Determined: Kate McCann with her daughter Amelie at the
Church of the Sacred Heart
Missing: Madeleine has still not been found four years
after she disappeared in the Algarve
Although she is 'loath' to make it public by writing it in the book, Mrs
McCann describes how she and Gerry had a row on the final night before
their daughter was lost.
As the couple and their holiday friends were enjoying a drink at the
bar, at 11.50pm, Mr McCann 'abruptly announced' that he was tired and
off to bed.
His wife was 'slightly hurt' he had gone without her, and writes: 'He's
not a touchy-feely guy. Like many men, he assumes I take his feelings as
read and doesn't see any need to express them with soft-soaping, flowers
'I am not sure why I was miffed by his lack of social graces that
evening. Perhaps because the other guys in the group were all attentive
'new men', compared with Gerry at least, and I was a bit embarrassed.'
When she followed him a few minutes later, she found him already asleep
and snoring and so, 'still feeling a bit offended', she chose a bed in
the children's room because 'my peaceful slumbering babies were more
Mrs McCann, whose 384-page book is being serialised in the Sunday Times
and the Sun newspapers, says she still feels sad at the memory ' though
stresses the 'isolated' incident was not reflective of their
relationship as a couple.
In an interview with the Sunday Times, Mrs McCann said her hospital
consultant husband had an ability to 'switch off' from the grief, and
was 'functioning' again much sooner than she was.
The former GP admitted: 'Sometimes I found it almost offensive, as if
somehow he wasn't grieving enough.'
Recalling a television appeal to the abductor they recorded together, Mr
McCann added: 'That day I remember we were concerned we weren't crying.
The thing is, we're not actors. We were trying to focus on getting our
The McCanns, of Rothley, Leicestershire, are hoping the sale of the book
will raise '1million to fund the continued search for their missing
Yesterday Mrs McCann and her youngest daughter Amelie attended church in
the village, where prayers were said for Madeleine.
Mrs McCann dispels suggestions she and Gerry were drunk on the fateful
night, saying their alcohol consumption was 'hardly excessive', and that
although their group of nine friends was noisier than other tables, they
were not 'partying wildly'.
In fact, she said they were so tired they nearly had dinner inside their
own apartment the night Madeleine vanished ' but then decided that would
be anti-social. Mrs McCann revealed it took two traumatic bouts of IVF
treatment to conceive Madeleine. After two years of failing to get
pregnant, she said she 'didn't think twice' about going down the IVF
route, and her first attempt seemed to go well.
Unity: The couple have remained together and are hoping the
sales from the book will raise money so they can continue
searching for Madeleine
She felt so confident and excited, going to the hospital two weeks after
the embryos were implanted, that when the pregnancy test was negative,
'I simply couldn't believe it,' she recalls.
The couple were keen to start trying again immediately, but a practical
problem stood in their way: at the point Gerry would need to provide his
sperm, he was due to give a presentation at a cardiac conference in
Berlin, an important stepping stone in his career.
He cancelled the trip, the procedure was successful, and at six weeks
pregnant, Mrs McCann had a scan and saw a beating heart.